


A Lot Like Love

by impatient14



Category: Supernatural, deancas - Fandom, destiel - Fandom
Genre: A lot like love au, Friends to Lovers, M/M, but the timing is never right, dean and cas meet over and over, no copyright infridgement intended and all that jazz, seriously this is basically that exact movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatient14/pseuds/impatient14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean and Castiel meet on an airplane, they feel an instant connection, but agree that they're wrong for each other. As the years pass and they live their separate lives, fate brings them together several times, and they become close friends. Any time one of them wants more out of the relationship, the other seems content with just being friends. If they wait too long, Dean and Castiel may miss any chance of spending their lives together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO...

Dean leaned his head against the cool window and half listened to his brother ramble on excitedly about his first semester at college.

“I think I’m going to go for it Dean. Declare pre-law.”

That pulled Dean from his daydream and he turned his head to look at his brother.

“Really? Isn’t it kind of early to be declaring your major Sammy?”

“Maybe, but I think I’m pretty sure it’s what I want to do.” Sam said back, eyes on the road as he drove their father’s car up to the departure lane at the airport.

“You may just want to wait a bit, man.” Dean gestured for Sam to pull up to his airline’s drop off area. “I thought I wanted to go with engineering when I was a freshman, but then by the middle of sophomore year I was pretty set on business.”

“Well, yeah.” Sam teased, putting the car in park. “How else are you going to have your own internet startup company, if you don’t learn all about profit shares and dividends?”

“Exactly.” Dean gave Sam a cheeky smile, then opened his car door and stepped out under the warm California sun. New York was going to be pretty cold, so he had his leather jacket with him, and remembered to pull it out of the back seat before pulling his suitcase from the trunk.

He was meeting his buddy from college to discuss his idea for their new buisness. Internet buisnesses were going to take off in the next few years, and he had an idea that was going to make them a whole lot of cash. Dean was only a year out of school and already his plan for life was working out great.

“Alright. So, don’t forget to pick me up next week, bitch.” Dean said, giving his brother a stern glare.

“Like I could forget, jerk.” Sam rolled his eyes, but allowed himself to be pulled into a hug by his big brother. Sam was significantly taller than Dean by then, but Dean didn't see it that way. He’d always be the same snot nosed boy who gushed over pokemon and science fairs at school. “Tell Ash I said hello.”

“Will do.” Dean said, stepping back. “Be good, Sammy.”

Another car pulled up behind them, a worn civic with a missing side mirror on the right side. It’s windows were down and loud punk rock music blasted from the stereo.

“You know, I grew out of Sammy about a decade ago.” Sam said, walking back over to the drivers side of John Winchesters car.

“Not to me little brother.” Dean said, eyes on the two men who just emerged from the beat up civic. The driver was a tall blonde, thinly built wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans. The other guy had short dark hair that looked like it had never seen a brush. 

The blonde pressed the dark haired guy against the passenger side door and shoved his tongue down the poor guys throat. 

Dean’s eyebrows rose comically as he turned away from them.

“Have a good trip Dean!” Sam said, through the passenger side window. “I’ll see you in a few weeks!”

“Ha, Ha. Sammy!” Deans yelled after the car as it pulled away. “One week. One!”

He shook his head and snickered as his brother waved out the window and drove away.

Dean took another quick peek at the couple behind him, and saw that they are no longer making out obnoxiously, but arguing.

“Are you fucking serious?” The dark haired one said, his voice a lot deeper than Dean expected it to be. “Baz, you don’t want to wait until I get back at least?”

“Come on now, baby.” The blonde said, his voice heavily accented. “This is fun, but the band has to come first.”

“I support the band Baz, but I-”

“It’s only for a year, babe. I’m sure there are things you can occupy yourself with while I’m gone.”

The dark haired guy pushed the blonde away and pulled a duffle bag onto his shoulder.

“You know what Balthazar? Fuck you.” He began to walk towards the double doors of the airport’s entrance, a place Dean should have definitely been heading as well, instead of gawking at the scene these two had caused.

“Don’t leave it like this.” The blonde yelled back at the other man’s back. “You’ll never have it so good-”

Dean’s eyes widened as he jerked his head away and started heading for the door, just as the dark haired man’s head whipped around to cut off the blonde.

“Just so you know, your band is fucking horrible and so are your ‘skills’.” 

He used air quotes around the last word and Dean barely stifled a laugh.

The dark haired man saw him though, and gave Dean quite the death glare before stalking off inside the airport.

Dean blushed, but snuck in another peek at the blonde. He was mumbling to himself and aggressively yanking his car door open. He zeroed in on Dean’s disapproving glare.

“And just what the fuck do you think you’re looking at?”

Dean backed up towards the airport with his hands raised. “Nothing man, chill.”

The blonde shook his head in annoyance before getting in his car and peeling out of the departure lane at LAX.

Dean didn’t spare the retreating car another glance. He headed through the door of the airport and walked towards the ticket counter. 

This was going to be great. He and Ash had been talking about this meeting for weeks, and he was sure they were going to blow the investors away. He strutted up to the counter.

Five people were ahead of him, the scorned lover from outside was handing his bag over the counter to be checked.

Dean heared the man thank the airline employee politely as he stepped to the side and began making his way towards the security checkpoint. Dean was able to take in the man’s appearance a litte more now that there wasn’t an asshole attached to his face, so swept his eyes over the man’s body.

He was tall, not as tall as Dean, but tall for sure. He had on black skinny jeans and a blue and white plaid button down. He wore converse on his feet and earbuds in his ears. Dean couldn’t help but notice the way the jeans clung to all the right places on the stranger’s perfectly grabbable ass.

Dean cocked his head to the side as he regarded the strangers ass a little longer than necessary, until the woman behind him hustled him forward. He turned around to apologize, but the woman was less than interested in hearing it. She gave him a strained smile, then pointed ahead again, motioning Dean to move forward once more.

Dean planted a polite, apologetic smile on his face, but took another glance down the long and wide hallway that led to the security checkpoint. The crowd was too thick for Dean to find him again easily, but just as it was Dean’s turn to head to the counter, he caught one last flash of blue and white plaid.

 

****

Dean grabbed some coffee and a sandwich at one of the kiosks near his gate, then settled into a seat near the gate’s check-in counter. He wass mid-bite of his pastrami on rye, when the ass he appreciated so much earlier, sat down right across from him. 

Dean wondered if the small stir in his belly at the sight of dark-haired man wrapping his lips around his water bottle was obvious to the stranger, but he thought probably not. It wasn’t like the guy was even aware of Dean, who continued to take subtle looks at the man across from him. 

But the next time Dean took a sip of his coffee and stole a glimpse , a pair of the most beautiful blue eyes Dean had ever seen, was staring right back at him. 

The man didn’t look away once Dean caught him staring, instead he tilted his head slightly, as if figuring something out. Dean quickly looked back down at his sandwich, and took another bite, which felt a lot more awkward than eating a delicious sandwich like that ever should. 

He sipped his coffee again, once his lunch was gone, and got up to throw away his trash.

When he sat back down, he could feel the man’s eyes on him again, and Dean struggled to bite his tongue.

He had always been the friendly type, not at all socially awkward. Normally, if he felt like he wanted to strike up a conversation with a stranger, he just did it. But something about the man across from him, made Dean more nervous to just go for it..

It’s not just because the guy was gorgeous, (even though his cheekbones and jawline might actually be the definition of handsome) but because not half an hour ago before, the guy was sucking face with someone else. Although, Dean thought it safe to say that relationship was probably over.

Without thinking it through, Dean ended up blurting out, 

“So, you and Bon Jovi gunna pull through?”

The man, who hadn’t been looking at Dean when Dean decided to say the stupidest thing imaginable, snapped his eyes in Dean’s direction.

“Excuse me?” His voice was emotionless, bordering on cold.

“Uh, your boyfriend...I saw your fight.” 

“His name isn’t Bon Jovi.” The man said back, a crinkle in his brow.

“Yeah, I figured.” Dean replied, a small smile on his lips. “I have a feeling he thought it was though. Seemed like an asshole.”

“You see a two minute exchange between strangers and you think you have insight into who they are?” The man said, eyes hard on Dean.

The man’s lips were pursed slightly, drawing attention to their slightly chapped state but also to the plump nature of his upper lip. As if reading Dean mind, the man flicked his tongue across his lips, wetting them. 

Dean blinked away the distracting motion and tried to focus back on the man’s eyes. It wasn’t that that hard to do once he was up there.

“No.” Dean said. “He just didn’t seem like a good guy, the way he talked to you, I mean.”

The man didn’t say anything in reply. He looked away to the departure screen instead. 

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.” Dean said with a wave of his hand.

“No,” The gorgeous stranger replied, “It isn’t.”

A voice blared through the overhead speakers, announcing that their flight would begin boarding. The man across from him stood immediately and joined the forming line. Dean shuffled in after him, about fifteen people behind.

When Dean finally made it through the tarmac and stepped onto the plane, his mind was still replaying the non conversation he had with the guy he had begun to refer to as, Mr. Tall, Dark and Blue. The guy’s voice just seeped into Dean’s skin, like honey into vinegar. Plus there was the image of the way the stranger’s tongue had slid over his lips, which kept Dean’s mind occupied as he moved his way down the airplane’s aisle.

He spotted Mr. Tall, Dark, and Blue up ahead, helping an elderly woman put her carry-on into the overhead bin. With his arms above his head, the man’s blue and white plaid shirt hiked up enough to reveal the extreme contours of his hip bones. There were clear lines that defined the descent to the man’s groin, and Dean found himself licking his lips at the sight. 

Just as he was imagining what it would feel like to have his hands on those hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into what looked like incredibly soft skin, the stranger looked right at him.

Dean was smart enough to divert his gaze as quickly as possible, but when he gathered the confidence to meet Mr, Tall, Dark, and Blue’s eyes again, the man didn’t look at all peeved to be the subject of Dean’s ogling. In fact, he looked pretty damn smug as he smirked at Dean and found his own seat.

Dean blushed, he’s sure of it, and sat as quickly as possible. His seat was a few rows ahead of Mr. Tall, Dark, and Blue’s, but despite how much he wished he could spend the flight staring at the stranger and making up ridiculous fantasies about the man, he was glad his own face was hidden. He did take another calculated glance back, feigning interest in the man behind him who was arguing with the flight attendant about his seat, only to find Mr. TDB staring back at him, smirk firmly intact.

 

***

Three hours into the flight, and Dean’s pants were soaking wet. Not all of his pants of course, just his groin.

The person in front of him had let down their seat just as Dean was placing his free, in-flight beverage onto the small table. The table bounced as the seat reclined and his coke spilled all over his jeans. 

“Shit!” Dean cried, righting the plastic cup and standing. The flight attendant fussed over him and handed him napkins, even tried to wipe his pants for him, but Dean waved her off and headed to the bathroom with a stack of napkins. He passed Mr. TDB on the way back, and noticed what can only be described as stifled laughter coming from the man.

“Yeah, real funny.” Dean said, still looking ahead towards the bathroom but knowing the man could hear him.

The flight attendant called after Dean, asking if she could help in any way, but Dean shook his head no and pulled open the bathroom door. He stepped inside the cramped space and slid the door closed behind him.

He spent a minute trying to blot up the coke, before giving up and wetting a napkin with water. He thought if he could at least get the stickiness of the coke out, then maybe when it dried it wouldn’t be so bad. Just as he was about to begin dabbing at his pants with the wet napkin, a knock came at the door.

“Occupied.” He said gruffly.

“Just wanted to see if you needed anything, Sir.” The flight attendant’s voice came through the door.

“I’m fine.” Dean replied back, scrubbing at his pants. He continued to scrub and blot, replacing the napkins as they disintegrated, for a few more minutes until another knock echoed into the tiny bathroom. 

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes as he undid the lock of the door and slid it open.

“I said I was-” 

Dean was cut off by a pair of striking blue eyes pushing towards him and crowding him back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Ten minutes later, Dean was left alone in the bathroom to pull up his pants.

He wasn’t a blushing virgin, by any means, but Dean usually at least knew the name of his partners before he let them put his dick in their mouths. Mr. TDB had no interest in conversation though, when he entered the bathroom and practically attacked Dean as soon as Dean made it known he would be A-okay with such an action.

After he was through getting his brain sucked out of his dick, Dean watched through lidded, thoroughly satisfied eyes, as Mr. TDB finished himself off. Then, after a quick hand washing session where the stranger continued to look incredibly sexy and smug at the same time, Dean was left alone to clean himself up. Mr. TDB didn’t leave a mess at all, he licked Dean clean when he was finished, but Dean still felt like he should wipe himself up before he pulled up his sticky, coke soaked jeans.

When he finally made it out of the bathroom, the stranger who had just given Dean the best blowjob of his life, was already sitting down. When Dean passed him on his way to his seat, Dean looked back to find the guy with his eyes closed, looking like he was fast asleep.

Did that just happen? 

Dean thought to himself as he sat down, unable to stop the smile from creeping onto his lips or the butterflies from sweeping through his stomach. He wasn’t opposed to one night stands, but this was definitely a first for him. He didn’t know the guy’s name and barely more than a few sentences were exchanged between them.

He felt kind of guilty, but at the same time, he felt really, _really good_. Not only because Mr. TDB knew exactly what he was doing down there, but because there was no pressure to make this into a thing. Dean really didn’t need the complication that came with dating someone, not with everything so up in the air. Who knew what would happen after the meeting? He needed to keep his life open and a relationship was pretty much the last thing he needed.

It felt good to not feel the need to follow this little rendezvous up with anything.

Dean closed his eyes and tilted his head back in his seat, knowing that after an orgasm like that, sleep would find him soon enough.

 

***

Dean walked through baggage claim quickly after stopping off in the bathroom again to put his pants under the automatic dryer. He got a a few looks, but no one said anything to him about it. By the time he made it to the right carousel, Dean found Mr. TDB waiting by the belt.

It seemed awkward to just stand next to him while they waited for their bags, and not say anything, so Dean cleared his throat quietly and turned slightly towards the stranger.

“Don’t.” Mr TDB said, before Dean could get a word out.

“Don’t, what?” Dean asked, brow furrowing as Mr. TDB continued to stare straight ahead.

“You’ll ruin it.” The stranger with the incredible blue eyes replied.

“Ruin what?” 

“Our little secret.” The man said simply, still not looking at Dean.

Dean didn’t know what the guy was going on about, but he knew he wasn’t looking for this to go anywhere, so there was no harm in at least finding out the guys name. It felt weird not knowing what to call him, especially when Dean planned to use their in-flight activities for future shower sessions.

“Well, uh- I’m Dean, for the record.”

“Uh, huh.” Mr. TDB replied, uninterested. He walked closer to the belt and crossed his arms. “Thanks for ruining it, Dean.” 

His tone was light, no real aggression behind it.

“What’s your name?” Dean tried, even though he had a feeling he wouldn’t be learning Mr. TDB’s real name.

The dark haired man with the most talented tongue Dean had ever encountered, stepped forward another inch towards the belt. “Why?”

“Just thought I should know it, considering...” Dean said back, shaking his head. 

“Considering...?” The man finally turned to look at Dean and raised an eyebrow at him.

With the man’s full attention, Dean felt more exposed than he had moments earlier, and he soon felt the prickle of heat at the nape of his neck. There was probably a nice red tint to his cheeks too, but Dean hoped it didn’t show.

“Considering what happened.” Dean answered, lowering his voice slightly and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, that.” The man replied, looking back at the belt. 

He said nothing more.

“Well, you don’t make it easy on a guy do you?” Dean said with a labored chuckle. 

Mr. TDB reached forward and pulled his duffle bag off the belt. He swung it over his shoulder as he turned back to Dean.

“I think I made it pretty easy for you, _Dean_.” 

The beautiful blowjob God walked off then, and left Dean alone once more.

 

***

Of course, when Dean got to the subway station at the airport, Mr. TDB was there, leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette.

Fate, destiny, luck of New York City’s subway train schedule, whatever it was- Dean was kind of grateful. Mr. TDB had gotten under his skin, and in record time too. Why wouldn’t he at least just tell him his name? 

They were alone on the platform, so Dean approached Mr. TDB just as the stranger rolled his eyes at Dean’s presence.

“Stalking is illegal, you know.”

“Don’t you need an official document to report that?” Dean replied back easily. “Could be a good way to get your name.”

He wasn’t sure, but Dean swore he saw the man smile as he turned his head away from him. When Mr. TDB didn’t say anything else though, Dean decided to let his teasing nature take the wheel.

“So, Bon Jovi got a major recording contract or something?”

Mr. TDB gave Dean an irritated look out of the corner of his eye.

“That’s not his name and no.” He took a drag of his cigarette. “Going on tour.”

“Oooh.” Dean said in mock excitement.

“He plays guitar.” Mr. TDB defended, even though Dean could tell he would rather say something else about the blonde asshole.

“Everyone plays guitar.” Dean replied, stepping back slightly as the train approached.

“Do you play guitar?” 

“Well, no.” Dean answered. He had played a little in high school but hadn’t had the time to play in awhile.

Mr TDB dropped his cigarette and put it out with his shoe. The train car opened and he headed for it.

“Strike two.”

“Strike two?” Dean stammered. “What was strike one?” 

His new non-friend didn’t answer, just boarded the train without looking back.

Dean purposely made a spot for himself next to Mr. TDB on the train, and traded glances with him for a moment before sighing and staring straight ahead.

“So, Dean. What brings you to New York?” Dean asked himself aloud. 

Mr. TDB only tried to hide his amusement momentarily before smiling up at Dean.

“Wow, thanks for asking, thats so nice of you.” Dean replied back to himself. “Um, well I came to visit a friend who just got out of school. He’s really into computers and has an idea about starting an internet business. We’ve already got a meeting set up with a potential investor.”  
“That sounds really interesting Dean, tell me more.” Dean teased, angling his head so he was looking down at Mr. TDB. 

The stranger’s lips were curled into a grin. He only waited another beat before joining Dean in his conversation with himself.

“Don’t you think it’s a little risky to go into business with your friend?” Mr. TDB asked, one eyebrow raised.

“What are you, my Dad?” Dean joked.

“I don’t know. When you look at me, do you see your Dad?” The man replied coyly. 

Dean scoffed but gave Mr. TDB the once over, to which the dark haired man smiled and averted his gaze.

The train began to slow, and the gorgeous blue eyed stranger looked behind himself at the sign on the subway station wall.

“This is me.” He said, pulling the duffle bag over his shoulder awkwardly.  
Dean had a feeling he might have actually made a good impression on Mr. TDB in the last few minutes, which even though he knew didn’t mean anything, he was glad to see.

Dean stepped back and was prepared to let the guy pass him on his way out, having never learned his name, when Mr. TDB stopped and looked back up at Dean.

“What’s your sign?”

“Sign?” Dean replied back, slightly bewildered.

“Astrological sign.” The man said curtly, stepping towards the sliding door.

“You believe in that crap?” Dean blurted out, regretting it immediately.

“Just answer the question.” 

“Uh, Aquarius. I think.” Dean replied, scratching the back of his neck.

“Strike three.” The man said, stepping through the doors and onto the subway platform.

But despite Dean’s apparent strike out, Mr. TDB smiled at Dean, eyes brighter than they have been so far.

Dean stood on the threshold of the subway car’s door.

“You’re really not going to tell me your name?” Dean asked, one last ditched effort.

“It’s Castiel.” The man replied with a smirk. “It was nice to meet you Dean.”

The doors closed between them and the train pulled away. 

***

Dean’s meeting wasn’t until the next morning and Ash wasn’t expecting him until later that night, so he spent his afternoon exploring Brooklyn and taking pictures for Sam. He stopped at a few street vendors and picked up a second hand book he knew his mother would enjoy. 

He was looking through a rack of scarves he knew his best friend Charlie would kill for, when an ambulance tore down the busy street and pulled his attention to its path. Just as the ambulance turned onto the next street, Dean spotted his new friend on the corner.

He was smoking a cigarette and leaning against a store’s front window. 

Dean smiled to himself and didn’t think twice before crossing the street and making his way towards Castiel.

When he spotted him, Castiel choked on his inhale and coughed while Dean sauntered up confidently to him. He liked the way Castiel’s eyes lingered on him, even as he coughed.

“Are you seriously stalking me?” Castiel asked, working through his surprise.

“Not purposefully.” Dean answered, laughing. “You know, kissing a smoker is like kissing an ashtray.”

“Oh yeah?” Castiel countered, a smirk on his lips. “What’s screwing one like?”

Dean laughed again. 

Castiel leaned away from the window, and looked around the corner cautiously. His expression changed from just a moment ago and he suddenly looked more nervous than anything else.

“So, what are you doing?” Castiel asked. “Do you want to do something?”

“Uh, sure.” Dean stammered. “What do you-”

Right then, an older couple rounded the corner, hand in hand, with big smiles on their faces.

“There you are!” The woman said, smiling at Castiel. “Thought we’d lost you.”

Castiel smiled weakly, flicking his cigarette away nonchalantly. 

“Sorry, just needed to step out for a bit.”

Dean stepped on the cigarette casually and kicked it away.

“Well, are you ready to go? The Guggenheim calls us!” The woman said, looking between Castiel and Dean.

“Oh, um. Sorry mom, but do you think I could pass on the museum today?”

“What?” The older woman asked. “But Rodger took off today just to-”

“I know, I know.” Castiel said, suddenly looking crestfallen. “But my friend Dean here...well,” He looked at Dean with a sad and worried expression. “Do you mind if I tell them Dean?”

Dean wasn’t born last night, so he nodded and played along. “Sure, go ahead.”

Castiel pulled Dean into a half hug, and stroked his back with his hand. It sent a jolt of something hot down Dean’s spine, at the memory of the last time they had touched.

“Dean is getting some test results back today, and he was hoping I would go with him. You know, for moral support.”

“Oh.” The woman and man said in unison. “Oh, well...Yes, of course.”

They both eyed Dean warily, probably wondering what he was possibly afflicted with and if they could catch it.

“Thank you.” Castiel said softly, giving Dean a gentle stroke on his arm. “It’s a frightening time.”

The older couple nodded and then man reached out and patted Dean on the arm.

“I’m sure everything will be fine son. Good luck.”

Dean nodded and smiled awkwardly. “Uh, thanks. ‘Precciate it.”

“Okay well, we should be going.” Castiel said, pulling Dean backwards down the sidewalk. “His appointment is in a few minutes.”

“Sure, we’ll see you later sweetheart.” The woman called after him as Castiel smiled and waved, leading Dean away.

 

***

“So, thanks for that.” Dean said, once they were clear of Castiel’s mother. 

“Oh, come on.” Castiel replied, turning so that they were walking into the park. “What do you care what my mother thinks of you?”

“What if we hit it off? Become a thing or something?” Dean replied, moving around a couple with a stroller.

Castiel laughed.

“We would never become a thing.”

“Oh really?” Dean pressed, smiling despite his rejection. “You really think a lot of yourself, huh?”

Castiel chuckled.

“First of all, why would I get mixed up with someone who I know first hand, will get off with the first person who knocks on his door?”

“What?” Dean balked. “That was with you!”

Castiel shrugged but Dean kept going.

“So, you won’t give me a chance, just because I let you suck me off?”

Castiel nodded. 

“That and you are no where near my type.” 

Dean scoffed. It’s not like he was actually looking for a boyfriend here, but the dismissal still stung.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly looking for anything right now anyway so that’s fine.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” Dean said, confidently. “I got too much going on right now to think about getting in any kind of relationship. Gotta get my ducks in line first.”

“Your ducks?” Castiel asked, head tilted again in a way that Dean was beginning to find incredibly adorable. “What ducks?”

“You know, my plan for the future.” Dean said back. “I have to get everything in order before I can think about getting involved with someone seriously.”

“Uh, huh.” Castiel said. Dean wasn’t even sure he was listening. He turned them down another path that led back out of the park and onto the sidewalk. 

Five minutes later, Dean was sitting next to Castiel at a bar, with two double shots of whiskey and a pitcher of beer in front of them

“So,” Castiel said, sipping his beer. “What if you don’t get your ducks in a row?”

“I will. I’ll get ‘em in a row. In a line.” He corrects, taking his shot.

“What if it takes twenty years?” Castiel asked, taking his shot too. “What if it takes twenty years to get your ducks sorted. Is that how long you’ll wait until you let yourself settle down with someone?”

“It’s not going to take twenty years.” Dean shot back.

“It could.”

“No. It’ll take five years, maybe six. Max six.”

“Really?” Castiel challenged, lighting a cigarette. “And whats going to happen in those six years.”

Dean rolled his eyes and took another sip of his beer.

“Start a business, roll around in my success. Buy my dad’s impala off him and fix her up. Buy a freaking awesome house. Get hitched.”

“And it’ll just be airplane bathroom sex until then?” Castiel asked with a laugh.

“That’s not what I said.” Dean defended, rolling his eyes again. 

Castiel brought his glass of beer to his lips and sipped it slowly. Dean couldn’t help but watch the way his throat bobbed as he drank, and the way his lips pursed around the edge of the glass. 

Noticing Dean’s preoccupation, Castiel smirked and slowly put his glass back down on the bar. 

“What if you have all that, and you still can’t find anyone to share it with?” 

“Seriously?” Dean asked, looking down at himself and then back at Castiel. “You think a guy like me, with a successful business and all that comes with that, will have trouble finding someone to fall in love with me?”

“Oh, I think that is a very possible scenario.” Castiel wore a half smile that let Dean know he wasn’t entirely serious, but Dean still grumbled.

“Well, we’ll see about that buster.” Dean countered, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. It was a receipt from the book he bough earlier, and he flipped it over to the other side.

“You gotta pen sweetheart?” Dean said to the bartender, who blushed as she smiled and handed him one.

“What are you doing?” Castiel asked, finishing off his beer and pouring himself another.

“I am writing down my parents phone number-”

“You live with your parents?”

“No.” Dean said quickly. “Well, yes, but I won’t in six years.” He finished writing out the number and pushed the receipt to Castiel. “Call that number in six years, and ask my parents for my new number. And I bet when you call my ridiculously hot husband or wife will answer the phone.”

“Oh, really?” Castiel said with another smirk, looking down at the number. “Want to bet on that?”

“Of course.” Dean said, looking affronted. “Twenty bucks says I’m successful and happily married in six years.”

“Twenty dollars?” Castiel countered. “I thought you were going to be some rich businessman?”

“Fine.” Dean leaned forward, lips pursed. “Fifty. Fifty bucks.”

Castiel smiled and nodded, pocketing the piece of paper with Dean’s number on it.

“It’s a bet.”

 

***

Dean spent the rest of the day with Castiel, walking around New York and taking pictures. He took more pictures of Castiel than the blue eyed man probably realized, but took a lot of the city for Sam too. At some point, Castiel put in a new roll of film and took over the camera. He set up some pretty incredible shots of the Brooklyn Bridge, as well as taking candids of Dean.

They talked some, but mostly just joked about the things they saw or the people they photographed. Dean watched as Castiel helped a little girl tie her shoes and could feel Castiel’s eyes on him as he tried to help a fellow tourist read a map. 

By the time the sun was setting, they had filled three rolls of film, one of which Castiel pocketed when he thought Dean wasn’t watching. It was probably the best day Dean had ever had with someone other than his brother, and he regretted having to say goodbye soon.

When the sun finally made it’s way under the horizon, Castiel stood up from the bench they were sitting on.

“Well, I better go.” 

Dean could hear reluctance in Castiel’s voice, but didn’t say anything about it. Despite the way they had easily slipped into their teasing dynamic, Dean was not really looking forward to this part either.

Dean stood up too and the two of them just stared at each other for a long moment, under the soft orange glow of a nearby street lamp. 

Dean wanted to kiss him. 

The kisses they shared in the airplane bathroom were rushed and sloppy and Dean wanted to show Castiel what he could really do. He wanted to surprise him, sweep him off his feet so that Castiel wouldn’t be able to forget him.

Castiel didn’t give him the chance though, because he closed the distance between them before Dean could even react. 

His lips were a lot softer than Dean remembered, and a hell of a lot less rushed. Castiel took his time, moving his lips softly and surely over Dean’s. Castiel had one hand on Dean’s hip and the other at his neck, while Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist. Dean reciprocated the kiss immediately, sliding Castiel’s lower lip between his and sucking on it softly. 

Then, just as quickly as the kiss started, it was over. 

Castiel stepped back and Dean let him go.

“I-” Dean started, but Castiel cut him off. 

“Don’t.” Castiel took another step back. “You’ll ruin it.”

He gave Dean one last smirk, which was dangerously close to a genuine smile, then walked off into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

_THREE YEARS LATER_

 

“You’re better off, really.” Anna said, sinking her toes into the sand. 

Castiel barely heard her, the roar of the waves drowning out one of his closest friends but amplifying his own self-loathing.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Meg urged. “You can’t mope like this forever. He isn’t worth it.”

“It was just...out of no where.” Castiel said, head hung low. “I didn’t even know we were having problems. He just...left.”

“Maybe it was all those bee documenarties that take up all that space on your TiVo.” Meg teased. 

Anna slapped her arm.

“Don’t listen to her.” Anna said, rubbing Castiel’s back. “He was a jerk. Plain and simple. Guys like Michael don’t know how good they have it, until it’s gone.”

“Well, that’s fucking stupid.” Castiel said, throwing a rock into the water. 

“What are you going to do about tonight?” Meg asked. “Are you still going to go?”

“Of course he’s going to go.” Anna piped in. “It’s New Years!”

Castiel shook his head. “I don’t have a date anymore. Isn’t that kind of the point of New Year’s Eve parties?”

“Not necessarily,” Meg said. “I mean, I’m taking that train wreck Alfie from work, but Anna is going stag. You could too.”

“Or,” Anna said, with a cock of her brow. “I could hook you up with Uriel. He’s been asking about you-”

“No thank you.” Castiel cut her off. “I’m not interested.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Meg said with a laugh. “That guy is missing a few personality traits if you ask me.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Anna replied. “Come on Castiel, it’ll be good for you.”

“I’m fine, Anna.” Castiel told her, “Don’t bother.”

“Well, unless you tell me you’re bringing someone else, I’m going to let Uriel know where we are going tonight.”

Castiel glared at Anna.

“Why are you like this?”

“I just want what’s best for you Castiel.” Anna responded, smiling. “Come on, you’ll kiss someone new at midnight and it’ll be like Michael never existed.”

Castiel thought about that, and couldn’t help but admit to himself that he didn’t want to spend New Year’s alone this year. 

His boyfriend of over a year, up and left him less than a week ago, and he wasn’t at all prepared to take on the holiday alone. Any other year he would just drink too much and make fun of everyone else at midnight, but this year he would rather go to bed at 8:30 than go out and watch everyone else be happy around him. Except that his friends aren’t going to let him get away with not having a date, so it was either go through his address book when he got home, or prepare to get mauled by Uriel when the ball drops. 

“Don’t call Uriel.” Castiel finally said, when the three friends stood and began walking off the beach. “I can find my own date.”

 

***

Castiel began at A in his address book and worked his way through.

He called everyone he could think of that might not mind his company for the evening. Which included the one night stand he had the night before he met Michael and the barista down the street that flirted with him a couple times and left his number on his cup once. He even called the only person he ever engaged in the “friends with benefits” type of relationship, but everyone either already had plans for the night or didn’t even remember who he was.

He was trying to think up ways to get out of going to the party, when a thin white piece of paper fell out of his address book and landed on the floor by his feet.

It was folded and worn but Castiel recognized it immediately. 

He bent down slowly to pick it up, almost like he was afraid the receipt might disintegrate, if he wasn’t careful.

He unfolded the paper and found the familiar scribble of a name and phone number.

 

_Dean Winchester_  
_(818)-434-5342_

Castiel sat down on his well worn couch and stared at the paper. He felt his lips pulling into a smile, despite how long it had been since he had even thought about the man the number belonged too.

The day he met Dean, Castiel was in a pretty bad place in his life.

His boyfriend Balthazar had decided that their relationship wasn’t worth enough to keep it up long distance and broke up with him with the phrase:

_“So you’re good with this being over, right love?”_

On top of that, that day was the anniversary of his father’s death and Castiel had gone to New York to put flowers on his grave. Castiel’s mother, recently remarried and over eager to have Castiel bond with her new husband, had scheduled them a weekend of things to do and Castiel had been extremely grateful to have Dean as a distraction. 

It had been simple, bantering with Dean and spending the day with him. Dean was a stranger, but Castiel felt comfortable with him.

Sucking his dick may have had something to do with that.

If presented with the same scenario today, Castiel wouldn’t have made the choice to ambush Dean in the airplane bathroom, but he didn’t regret it either. He was glad to have met Dean, and he’d definitely be lying if he said his heart didn’t stutter in his chest when the receipt slipped from his address book.

He picked the receiver of his telephone up and took a deep breath, his fingers ghosting over the number pad.

Then he slammed the phone back in it’s cradle.

 _This is stupid._ He thought to himself. _Dean probably won’t even remember me, he definitely has plans for New Years._

He sat there for another long moment before throwing caution to the wind picking up the telephone and punching in the number Dean had written down.

When an woman answered the phone, Castiel froze.

“Hello?” The woman said, waiting for a reply. “Hello?”

Castiel couldn’t find his voice.

“Is anyone there?”

“Uh-Um, Hi, yes.”Castiel stuttered, entirely without grace. “I’m uh... Is Dean there?”

He sounded like an idiot. He felt like an even bigger one.

“Yeah sure, hold on.” The voice on the other end of the phone said politely, then came a muffled yell. “Dean! Phone!”

Shit.

Castiel really hadn’t thought about what he would say if he actually got in touch with him. He figured Dean wouldn’t be there and Castiel would just get his new number and then he would get another chance to chicken out.

A few seconds later, the gruff voice of one Dean Winchester echoed over the receiver.

“Hello?”

Castiel heard the click of what must have been Dean’s mother hanging up.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel got out, nerves wracking through him. 

“Um, hi. Who’s this?” Dean asked distractedly. It sounded like he was in the middle of something.

“I don’t know if you’ll remember me... It’s Castiel. ”

There was a moment of silence where Castiel was prepared to hear a click, but the noise of whatever Dean was doing when he answered the phone, was gone all of the sudden and Castiel could hear the man’s gruff voice much more clearly. 

“New York, Castiel?”

“Yes.” Castiel smiled. 

“Oh...wow.” Dean said. Castiel couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Dean just got the wind knocked out of him. “What’s uh, what’s up?”

“Oh, um well,” Castiel stalled, not entirely sure how he planned to get through his increasingly awkward conversation. “Well, I just happened upon your number and I thought I’d check on you and uh, your ducks.”

“Ducks?” Dean questioned, obviously confused.

Castiel was a fucking idiot.

“Oh!” Dean laughed and Castiel let out a sigh of relief. “Right, my ducks!”

He laughed again. “On schedule I think. What about you? How have you been?”

“Alright. I was um, I mean, I know you probably have plans for tonight already, but I was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee or something this afternoon.”

Castiel cringed. 

“Sure.” Dean said, slight hesitation in his voice. “That’s uh- that’ll be good. What’s your address, I’ll come pick you up.”

“Oh, you want to come here?” Castiel said, standing up from the couch and pulling the phone cord just about too far.

“Yeah, I’ll come over.” Dean said. He sounded like he was moving again.

“Okay, sure.” Castiel replied then gave Dean his address.

“See you soon Castiel.”

“Okay, see you.”

Castiel hung up then fell back down on the couch with a huff.

_Holy shit._

 

***  
Half an hour later and Castiel was chugging mouth wash and then storing it under the kitchen sink, when he heard a knock at the door.

He took a few settling breaths before opening the door, where he found the same handsome man he had met three years prior. His hair was shorter and his clothes nicer, but he looked pretty much the same. Castiel however, had changed his style significantly over the last three years. Trading in his Converse’s for Steve Madden’s and his earbuds for an approachable smile.

He still wore the black skinny jeans regularly though. 

He was wearing them when he greeted Dean at the door and invited him in. They paired nicely with the light blue button up he was wearing too, which he had rolled up to his elbows. 

Besides the movie star smile Dean wore, he also had on a pair of dark blue jeans and a red and blue plaid shirt.

“Hey,” Dean said. “Good to see you, man.”

“You too Dean,” Castiel said, closing the door behind Dean and leading him through the small entry way.

His apartment wasn’t that big, but it was big enough to have an entry way to get through.

Once they were standing in the living room, each of them waiting for the other to break the ice, Castiel was overtaken with the same raw magnetism that drove him to approach Dean for casual sex in an airplane bathroom.

He resisted the impulse to pull Dean in and kiss him stupid, because that would be entirely inappropriate now. He could away with a lot a few years ago, but Castiel was twenty five now, he needed to start acting like a grown up. He needed to show some sort of restraint and responsibility.

Dean was watching him, waiting for Castiel to set the tone of their meeting, but in the thirty seconds they stood there, Castiel fought a war within himself. 

The corner of Dean’s lip quirked up when he looked around at Castiel’s apartment and when his eyes made it back to Castiel, they had little lines around them. 

Castiel pounced.

He wasn’t proud of it, but goddamnit that man had the most kissable lips.

Dean jumped slightly when Castiel caught him around the neck and pulled him in so fast that their lips slammed against each other, but he caught up quickly. Dean leaned into Castiel and kissed him back, licking into his mouth and letting Castiel taste him. Castiel continued to pull Dean closer and closer, even though their bodies were completely flush and Dean walked them backwards, pushing Castiel against the living room wall. 

Dean had his hands under Castiel’s shirt, his thumb rubbing circles into Castiel’s hips while Castiel stroked Dean’s tongue with his own. Their lips moved at a hurried pace and their breathing went ragged with the effort.

It felt amazing.

It also felt really wrong.

This wasn’t Castiel anymore. He wasn’t this person and he certainly didn’t want Dean to think this was the reason he called him. Well, not the _only_ reason he called him.

Castiel pulled away abruptly and wiped his mouth.

“So, can I get you some tea or coffee? A soda maybe?” Castiel began to move his way back into the kitchen. If someone had walked in right then, they wouldn’t have a clue that Dean and Castiel had just been playing a wicked round of tonsil hockey. 

“I’m uh, I’m good.” Dean said breathlessly, catching up to the mood change but obviously confused. “Thanks.”

“I’m just going to grab some water.” Castiel said, turning his back on Dean and walking towards the kitchen. 

He was embarrassed at his actions, but he was also kind of annoyed that Dean was so willing to just jump him like that. 

Castiel stopped in his tracks and turned back towards Dean. 

“I can’t believe you just assumed that this was why I called you.” 

Dean gave him a confused sort of smile. A smile that told Castiel that he was being unreasonable, which Castiel didn’t really need to be told.

Castiel walked back into the kitchen and pulled a bottled water from the fridge. He could hear Dean coming in after him.

“You can’t believe I assumed... what was...why you called me?” Dean said, stumbling over the awkward phrasing.

“It’s just, I’m not the same guy I was three years ago. I mean, I am, but it’s not the same situation.” Castiel started to ramble. 

“I understand.” Dean nodded, small smile still on his lips. He moved further into the kitchen and opened the drawer nearest to him.

“I’m not the person that needs to sleep with someone right after a break up to prove he’s still desireable. I’m not that person anymore.”

“Yeah.” Dean said, pulling open another drawer and then the cabinet above it, apparently looking for something.

“What are you doing?” Castiel asked.  
Dean crossed the kitchen slowly, all while looking above the fridge and all over the counters. 

“I am...” Dean opened the cabinet next to Castiel and looked inside. “...looking for your crazy pills.” He turned to Castiel and gave him a soft, genuine smile. “I know they have to be around here somewhere, for moments like these.”

“That’s not funny.” Castiel said, barely containing an irritated smile. “What if I really was crazy?”

Dean licked his lips and smiled even wider. He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked entirely too cute for Castiel’s liking.

“Have you eaten yet?” Dean asked. He wore a hopeful expression that Castiel also found adorable.

“Do you always call your date’s crazy before you ask them out?” Castiel countered.

“So, this is a date?” Dean teased, leaning forward slightly.

Castiel’s smile was his only response.

 

***

Dean drove them to a local chinese place that made the best dumplings Castiel had ever had. They didn’t talk much on the drive there, just small stuff like weather and LA traffic. Castiel has never liked small talk and this time was no exception, but he was grateful for it’s existence in that moment. 

Despite the time they spent together in New York, or the minutes they spent groping each other in Castiel’s apartment, Castiel really didn’t know the guy all that well and small talk was a necessary evil until one of them had the balls to actually start a real conversation.

They walked from Dean’s car to the restaurant. Dean’s car was incredibly gorgeous, and Castiel was reluctant to remove himself from the soft leather of its front seats. It was shiny and black and Castiel was pretty sure people called a car like that a muscle car, although he hadn’t a clue what that meant. It’s presence reminded him of something, and Castiel was finally struck with something interesting to talk about.

“So, is this her?” He shut the car door and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Dean rounded the car and joined Castiel, who stood still and stared down at Dean’s car.

“Yep. This is my baby. 1967 Chevrolet Impala. Got her last year from my dad and I’m just about finished with her. Six months ago she was barely drivable, but I made her sexy again.”

“By yourself?”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “I loved it too, I mean I’ve always loved working on cars but I didn’t realize how much I’d love restoring one like this. It was awesome.”

“So your ducks are lining up nicely then.” Castiel said with a smirk, turning and leading them down towards the restaurant. “Except for the part were you still live with your parents.”

“I don’t live with my parents.” Dean said with an annoyed sigh. “I was there today picking up some old stuff. I’m moving- which by the way is another duck in line.”

“The beautiful spouse?” Castiel countered. “Because if so they are going to be pretty angry when I tell them about our activities earlier.”

“No, smartass.” Dean said, bumping Castiel with his shoulder. “The job. Ash and I finally got our business off the ground.”

“Oh right!” Castiel joked. “The majorly successful internet start-up.”

“That’s right.” Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He fished through it until he found what he was looking for. He handed it to Castiel.

“FreshenUpYourBaby.com?” Castiel read, one eyebrow raised. “You’re selling car air fresheners online?” 

He was pretty sure his disbelief shined through each word.

“What?” Dean said, snatching the card back. “Gotta get them somewhere, right?”

“Like the gas station?” Castiel challenged.

“No.” Dean shot back. “I mean, yeah but- you know what? We’ve got investors and a solid business plan, I’ll just take your jokes to the bank.”

“Oh, okay.” Castiel nodded in a patronizing way. “You do that.”

“Alright, smart guy.” Dean said, “What about you? How’s Bon Jovi doing?”

Castiel laughed. 

“I don’t know, last I heard he switched bands and moved to Seattle.”

“And the more recent breakup? Did he play guitar too?”

“Who said I had a breakup?” Castiel shot back.

“You did.” Dean responded. “Back in your kitchen during your hypoglycemic rant.”

Castiel hid his smile with the back of his hand.

“So, spill.” Dean pushed on. “Did you dump him or did he dump you?”

Castiel shook his head. “I’m not telling you.” 

“He dumped you then.” Dean said confidently, then stuffed his hands back in his pockets.

“I’m not talking about it.” Castiel responded, a hint of a smile still on his lips.

“Oh, you’re not talking about it?” Dean challenged, just as they reached the front door of the restaurant.

“I’m not talking about it.” Castiel repeated. He really didn’t want to delve into his pathetic breakup story with Dean. The last thing he needed was for Dean to know what how entirely leaveable Castiel was. There was an extra sting to this one too, because Michael broke up with him less than an hour after he finished fucking Castiel into the mattress.

One last screw before he threw Castiel away.

“Well,” Dean said. “Then I’m not talking at all.” 

Dean wore a cheeky smile and his eyes were incredibly bright, obviously proud his obnoxious self.

“You’re not talking?” Castiel asked, returning the smile. He forgot how easy it was to be around Dean, how fun it could be just hanging out with someone.

Dean shook his head no.

“Fine, I’m not talking either.”

They mimed zipping their lips up, simultaneously.

Castiel opened the door of the restaurant for Dean, and gestured for him to go inside. Dean thanked him with a dramatic bow and stepped through the chinese restaurant’s front door.

The restaurant was desolate, not many people out to dinner on New Year’s eve. 

There was soft instrumental music playing, which unsettled Castiel slightly as he was feeling playful and not at all interested in an emotionally charged conversation. 

Dean had made that impossible anyway, of course, with his refusal to speak at all until Castiel answered his question about his breakup, which Castiel was even more uninterested in doing.

They sat down across from each other at the table the hostess showed them to, and Castiel picked up his menu. Dean did the same, but made sweeping, dramatic motions with his face and head as he read, making it look like he was in some kind of silent film from the twenties.

Castiel giggled behind his menu.

When the waitress poured them each some water, Castiel decided the best way to beat Dean at his little game was to make it increasingly hard for him not to say anything. 

As soon as the waitress left their table, Castiel took a big sip of his water and spit a stream of it out through his teeth at Dean. Dean gasped and jumped back, but retaliated immediately. Castiel lifted his napkin to block himself from Dean’s assault, but Dean rounded the table to get him from the other side. Castiel moved as he did, and they ended up switching places at the table.

Both men barely contained their laughter.

When the waitress returned, Dean and Castiel pointed out which meal they would like on their menus and then proceeded to throw packets of sugar at each other until their food came.

It was the most fun Castiel had had, in a very long time.

He couldn’t remember the last time he let himself just be free and act as silly as he wanted. Michael was the serious sort, always working, even when he wasn't. Castiel had found that attractive before, having someone so stable and responsible want to be with him, but goofing off with Dean reminded Castiel how much fun it was not to have a major stick up your ass.

When their food came, Castiel got an idea he was sure would make Dean break the silence first. 

He took a bite of his dumpling, then convulsed slightly, as if a piece of the dumpling had gone down the wrong way. He gagged and choked, making his face turn red and his eyes water. Dean looked worried for all of two seconds before he casually took another bite of his dinner.

Castiel wasn’t going to be the first to break, so he played up his fake choking episode with a few hard smacks to the table and clutched at his throat as he struggled.

Dean sipped his water and checked the time on his nonexistent watch.

The waitress came over and tried to tend to Castiel, but Dean shooed her away.

Castiel eventually collapsed onto the table with his head buried in his arms, no longer able to keep up the game but still unwilling to give up all together.

Dean sat back in his chair and waited with a smug smile on his face.

After a minute, Castiel sat back up in his chair and sighed.

“Fine.” Castiel huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’ll tell you.”

“Mmm.” Dean said, humming around another bite. “Never underestimate the willpower of a Winchester, Cas.”

“Noted.” Castiel responded. He settled back into his seat and took a sip of water.

“So.” Dean said, gesturing for Castiel to continue.

“So,” Castiel sighed again. “You were right. He left me.”

“What happened?” Dean asked gently.

Castiel was deeply impressed by Dean’s ability to from teasing bastard to sympathetic friend.

“He didn’t love me anymore.” Castiel shrugged and began eating again. “If he ever did, I don't know. Said he was tired of watching me waste my time on frivolous hobbies.”

“Such as?”

“A little bit of everything. I write. I went on a few open call auditions. I even took an art class recently. I just haven't found anything yet that really speaks to me, you know?” 

“What do you do for money?” Dean asked.

“This and that. Right now I’m waiting tables.” 

“That’s cool. I did a little restaurant service in high school. I don’t envy you.”

“It’s not so bad. It gives me a flexible schedule so I can do other things.” Castiel smiled. “We can’t all be entrepreneurs in the world of Fresh Pine scent.”

“Ha. Ha.” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “Laugh all you want now but we’ll see who’s laughing in two years when my life is the picture of perfection.”

“So, if your life is so great, how come you don’t have plans on New Years?” Castiel teased, tossing a pea at him with his chopsticks.

“Too busy.” Dean said shrugging. “I actually forgot what day it was until you told me. I don’t get the hype anyway. Lame party hats and glasses with glitter numbers? No thanks.”

“Yeah, it’s dumb.” Castiel agreed. “Plus you end up picking confetti out of your hair for days.”

Dean grimaced.

“That’s the absolute worst.” 

They were both quiet for a moment, eating what was left of their dinner and looking down at their plates as they did.

“I know of a party.” Castiel said finally, looking up at Dean even though his head was still bowed down towards his plate.

Dean smiled.

“Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Dean started, eyes on the road and following the directions Castiel gave him to the party. “What was strike one?”

“What?”

“In New York. Strike two was that I didn’t play guitar. Strike three was that I was born in the wrong month. What was strike one?”

Castiel smiled to himself in the passenger seat of Dean’s 67’ Chevrolet Impala. 

“That I had to make the first move.”

“I got strike one before we even met?” Dean asked, incredulously. “You can’t get strike one before you even step up to the plate!”

Castiel shrugged and gestured towards the hotel where the party was being held. 

“Woah.” Dean said, looking through the windshield and his jaw dropping slightly. “Swanky. Is this where all the hollywood types go for New Years?” 

He was joking, but Castiel could see real nerves under the surface.

“Don’t worry.” Castiel said with a pat to Dean’s arm, as Dean pulled the car into an open parking spot. “Just be yourself.”

They both climbed out of the car and started walking towards the entrance.

“Except maybe don’t mention the air freshener thing.” Castiel said with his trademark smirk.

 

***

 

Once inside, their first mission was to get drinks. Castiel led the way to the bar and Dean followed closely behind him. Before they could make it there though, Castiel heard the distinctive whoop of his closest friends cheering at his arrival.

“Castiel!” Anna yelled, rushing towards him. “You’re here!” 

“And with a young man in toe.” Meg said, eyes appraising Dean and not making her approval at all subtle.

“Yes.” Castiel said. “This is Dean. Dean, this is Anna and Meg.”

Dean shook hands with both women.

“Nice to meet you ladies.” He planted a big, unapologetic smile on his face. “I sell Air Fresheners online.”

Castiel snorted when he laughed.

“That’s um...nice, Dean.” Anna said, looking between Dean and Castiel. 

Behind Meg, was a waif of a man, with nervous eyes but a kind smile.

“This is Alfie,” Meg said. “He’s shy, but does what I say in the bedroom.”

“Too much information, Meg.” Castiel said as Dean laughed.

“Can we steal him for a moment?” Anna asked Dean, while she tugged on Castiel’s sleeve. 

Dean nodded. “Sure, I’ll go get drinks.”

Castiel smiled apologetically. “I’ll just be a minute.”

Castiel left Dean with Alfie and allowed himself to be escorted away by his two best friends.

“So, what’s his deal?” Meg asked, looking back over her shoulder at Dean as they walked away. “Where’d you meet a piece like that?”

“He’s just a friend.” Castiel answered. “Met him a few years ago and we just got back in touch. It’s nothing.”

“Well, if the way his eyes are still trained on your ass says anything, I’d say he doesn’t share the ‘just friends’ sentiment.” Anna said, looking behind Castiel. 

Castiel was about to make a smart comment, but the abrupt change in Anna and Meg’s appearance made him stop short.

“What?”

“Um.” Meg said, eyes darting to Anna and then to Castiel. “Don’t turn around.”

“What? Why?”

Anna gave Castiel a sympathetic look.

“It’s Michael.”

Castiel’s head whipped around so fast, he had a spasm in his neck. He clutched at it as he took in his ex-boyfriends appearance. 

He looked good, but then again, Michael always did. He wore a black suit and tie, and as an accessory, a barely legal looking brunette in a tight mini skirt. 

Castiel turned back towards his friends, his heart pounding in his chest.

Of course Michael would have a date a week after they broke up. Of course it would be someone gorgeous. 

Of course.

A waitress came around with shots and Castiel took two in a row. 

“It’s okay.” Anna said. “I mean, you have Dean and Michael isn’t even-”

She cringed as her eyes went back to Michael.

“What is it?” Castiel asked, not wanting to turn around this time.

“He’s kissing her.” Meg said softly. “Michael is kissing the walking tramp stamp.”

Castiel’s heart fell into his stomach. 

He chased it with two more shots.

 

***

Dancing with Dean was a lot more fun than moping over his ex.

Then again, with as much as Castiel had had to drink, pretty much everything was fun at that point. 

Dean was an excellent dancer, swinging Castiel around the floor brilliantly and moving in rhythm to the music. When a slow song came on, he pulled Castiel in expertly too, and swayed easily with Castiel in his arms. 

Over Dean’s shoulder, Castiel caught a glimpse of Michael and his date dancing and he craned his neck to watch them.

Dean’s lips tickled Castiel’s ear as he whispered to him.

“Put your hands on my ass. That’ll really get him.”

Castiel leaned back to look at Dean, and found him smiling sympathetically back at him. Castiel still felt bad for his behavior though, even if Dean wasn’t mad at him for it.

Dean deserved better than that.

Smiling even wider, Dean asked,

“Do you want me to put my hands on your ass?”

Castiel let out a giggle and pulled Dean in as close as he could, turning their dance into a sort of swaying embrace. He continued to laugh into Dean’s shoulder until all the drinks suddenly caught up with him and he was desperate to relieve himself.

He stepped back, still smiling brightly.

“I’ve got to use the restroom.” Dean still held onto Castiel’s hands. “I’ll be right back.” 

Dean nodded and let him go. 

In the bathroom, Castiel psyched himself up for the rest of the night. 

Seeing Michael like that was a step backwards for his self-confidence, but that wasn’t the reason he was more than ready to go home with Dean. Dean was fun and knew how to make Castiel laugh. He was gorgeous too of course, but that wasn’t the main reason Castiel was so attracted to him. Dean was kind and understanding, while also being an obnoxious pest. 

Castiel really liked that about him.

Outside the bathroom, Castiel could hear the DJ telling the crowd it was almost time to count down, so Castiel washed his hands when he was through and headed back out to the party. Only once he was out there, he couldn’t find Dean.

The countdown started and couples started pairing off and Castiel looked like the most pathetic person in the world, alone and not prepared to pretend he wanted it that way.

The crowd was yelling _Five!_ , but Castiel still hadn’t found Dean. 

What he did find, was Michael, shouting out numbers with his date, a big goofy smile on his face. When the countdown reached one, Castiel watched as Michael kissed the brunette and lifted her off her feet. 

Confetti fell all around him and Castiel had never felt so low in his life.

Then there were lips pressing hard onto his.

Soft, confident lips that erased away everything else.

Dean’s arms wound around Castiel’s waist and pulled him in, and Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck as they kissed into the New Year.

 

***

Castiel was drunk.

And not just a little bit.

He stumbled as he walked next to Dean up the flight of stairs to Dean’s apartment. Their arms were linked and they were laughing about something, but Castiel couldn’t remember what.

“Shh.” Dean laughed through his chastisement. “My neighbors are the ‘call the cops type.’”

“Apologies.” Castiel whispered, putting his hand over his mouth.

When Dean finally got his door opened and Castiel stepped inside, Castiel sobered somewhat.

“Dean.” Castiel said cautiously. “I think you’ve been robbed.”

The apartment was dark, but Castiel could tell it was utterly bare. There was a mattress without sheets in the middle of the floor, a dresser beside the mattress, and a few boxes, but other than that there was nothing inside.”

“No, I haven't.” Dean said softly, shutting the door behind him. “ I told you, I’m moving.”

“When?” Castiel asked.

“Tomorrow.” Dean went to the light switch and flicked it up. Nothing happened. 

“See? It’s official. Powers out. Mover’s are picking up the rest of the stuff tomorrow afternoon.”

Dean crossed the room to a box and pulled out a few candles.

“Where are you moving?” Castiel asked, walking further into the apartment to stand next to Dean as he lit the candles, casting the room into soft yellow and orange shadows.

“San Francisco.”

“Oh.” Castiel said dumbly. San Francisco was over 400 miles away, which pretty much cemented that whatever they had between them, wasn’t going to go anywhere. 

“Yeah.” Dean replied, lighting some more candles. “Good timing, huh?”

“Apparently.” Castiel said back, moving towards an open box and finding the camera Dean had when he was in New York. Castiel picked it up and snapped a shot of Dean lighting a candle.

“Dean.” He called, getting his attention.

Dean looked up, and Castiel took another photo.

“Nice.” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “Sure that’ll look great.”

Castiel smiled and put the camera back down in the box. He saw something else that caught his eye and pulled it out.

It was a photo of the Brooklyn bridge.

“I took this.” Castiel said, bewildered.

“Yeah.” Dean replied, walking over and standing beside him.

“You framed it.” Castiel looked up at Dean.

“Yeah, I liked it.” 

“You framed my picture.” Castiel said soflty. He was touched that Dean not only had the picture printed, but that he framed it too.

“It’s a good picture.” Dean replied quietly.

It was dark, but Castiel thought he saw a hint of blush run over Dean’s cheeks. 

“Just when I’m starting to like you, you’re moving away.” Castiel said stupidly, not even sure where the words came from, but if he had to guess, it would have been the last shot of tequila.

Dean didn’t respond. He pulled the picture gently from Castiel’s hands and placed it back in the box. His fingers lingered over Castiel’s when he took the picture from him, and his body stayed close after he put it away.

Castiel felt like every nerve ending in his body was standing at full attention. 

Dean looked at him through the dark like he wanted to devour Castiel, and Castiel absolutely loved that someone was looking at him that way, but he refused to be the one to act first this time. Dean was leaving, which pretty much sucked, but they had tonight and if they were going to use their time wisely, Castiel wanted the memory of Dean making the first move.

He didn’t have to wait long before Dean was crowding him back against the wall, lining up their groins so Castiel could feel the affect he was having on Dean. Castiel moaned into Dean’s mouth when Dean finally brought their lips together. Castiel kissed him back, opening his mouth to Dean before moving his lips down and sucking a mark into his neck. He rolled his hipe while Dean palmed Castiel’s ass, which elicited another gasp from him. 

Castiel pushed them back towards the mattress and they fell onto it. Dean pulled his shirt off while he straddled Castiel’s lap, then he smiled down at Castiel as he helped him out of his shirt too. When their bare chests came together, Castiel felt like his heart might explode out of his chest. He felt so good, everything felt so _good_. 

They kissed again, deeply, sensually and both men moaned as their hard lengths rocked against each other. 

Castiel’s stomach was in chaos. Tequila soaked butterflies flapped and fluttered until Castiel realized it wasn’t just nerves and attraction that had his stomach acting that way. He pushed Dean off of him and quickly rolled off the bed. He darted to the nearest hallway and prayed for a bathroom.

He vomited into the toilet and then the world went black.

 

***

Castiel woke to the sound of a garbage truck backing up.

His body hurt like it does after a night of drinking, but not like it does after a night of fucking. With his eyes still closed, Castiel let what he remembered from the night before come floating back. 

The last thing he remembered was falling asleep on the bathroom floor.

Whatever he was laying on was too soft and warm to be the bathroom floor, so he definitely didn’t spend the night there.

He opened his eyes and squinted as the morning’s sun blinded him through a curtainless window. Castiel rolled over on the mattress to find himself waking up alone.

“Dean?” 

No answer. 

Castiel sat up slowly, noticing that he was wearing a long sleeved shirt that didn’t belong to him. When he stood up, a few bones in his hips and back cracked and Castiel stretched into a yawn. 

“Dean?” Castiel tried again, louder this time.

Still no answer.

Castiel looked around the studio apartment, but he was alone. It didn’t feel good, waking up a lone like this, but he knew Dean was moving today. He was just grateful he woke up before the movers came. 

Just before giving up and heading home, Castiel noticed something on the dresser by the bed.

It was Dean’s camera. 

Under it was a note.

_Didn’t want to wake you._

Then, with an arrow that pointed to the camera:

_For you._

Castiel smiled and finished reading the note.

_Until next time,_  
_Dean_


	5. Chapter 5

_TWO YEARS LATER_

Dean walked into his beautiful San Francisco victorian home, and shrugged off his jacket.

“Hey Lis, I’m home.”

“You’re late.” An annoyed reply came from the kitchen. “Did you remember to pick up the wine?” 

Dean winced. Lisa was hosting a dinner party tonight for some of her clients and Dean was not only late so he wasn’t there to help her set up, but he had also forgotten the one task she had given him. In his defense, Dean had been working insane hours with Ash and he barely had time to remember to shower in the morning. 

Their business was really gaining steam and their lawyers said if they impress investors in New York, they could hit the next level soon.

“No,” Dean said quietly. “I forgot.” He was halfway into the kitchen but turned back to put his coat back on. “I’ll run out now.”

“Don’t bother.” Lisa replied. “I already got it.”

“Then why did you ask me?” Dean shot back. He hated it when she got like this. When she acted like all he did was fuck up. 

“You know what Dean,” She was carrying a plate of bacon wrapped scallops to the table. “I’m tired of this. You’re never here, and even when you are here, you’re still not here.”

“I’m here right now.” Dean defended, pulling open the fridge to grab a beer. 

The day had been long and hard and full of meetings and he really wasn't in the mood for this party, but he was going to plant a smile on his face because thats what good, supportive boyfriends did.

“I can’t do this anymore Dean.” 

Dean turned around to find Lisa sitting at the dining room table now, her voice remarkably lower and calmer. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Dean asked, even though he knew exactly what it meant.

“I don’t know. I think...I think we should just take a break.”

Dean stared at the woman he thought might one day be his wife, but found himself without anything to say.

 

***

Castiel chased the children around with his camera in his hands, taking candids as the kids jumped through the sprinkler and ate large pieces of chocolate cake. 

When he had taken over two hundred pictures, Castiel set off to find Meg, the person who got him the job taking pictures of her neighbor’s kid’s party. What he found though, was a very pregnant Meg, mauling her husband’s face against the side door their neighbors house.

“Oh god!” Castiel shrieked and hid his eyes.

“Sorry.” Meg replied, even though everyone knew she wasn't. “I can’t help it. He’s so hot in these suspenders and I’m pregnant and horny.”

Castiel laughed.

Meg and Alfie had gotten married in Vegas seven months ago. The result of that union was currently incubating in Meg’s uterus.

“I think I’m done.” Castiel said. “Thanks for recommending me, I think these will turn out great.”

“Sure thing sweetheart.” Meg said, walking towards the snack table and stuffing her mouth full of guacamole. “Hey, how was your date last night?”

“Fine.” Castiel said. “Luke and I have a lot in common.” 

“So did you...ya know.” Meg wiggled her eyebrows.

“It was our first date Meg, no.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “We had dinner. It was nice.”

“Nice, huh?” Meg replied. “I dabbled in nice and look where it got me.” 

She pointed at her stomach.

“You say that like it’s bad thing.” Castiel said, taking a carrot and dipping it in hummus.

“It is. Marriage and children? Are you kidding? Worst possible scenario.” She smiled. “But I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Castiel smiled thinly. “Good for you. I’m happy for you Meg.”

“Cheer up buttercup, it’ll happen for you too.”

He let out a labored laugh. Castiel wasn’t so sure Meg was right. It’s not like he had given up on love or anything, but he wasn’t exactly brimming with excitement about potential romantic partners.

“I guess we’ll see.”

***

Later that day, Castiel walked through the courtyard of his apartment complex to get to his front door. He had his camera bag on his shoulder and was humming a song he couldn’t get out of his head. As his key slipped inside the lock of his door, someone spoke behind him.

“Hey.” 

It was soft, but Castiel still heard the voice and recognized it, but couldn’t place it until he turned around and faced the person who called out to him. 

Sitting in a chair on the patio of the courtyard, was Dean Winchester. 

 

***

Dean wasn’t that nervous to see Castiel this time.

They hadn’t spoke since their date on New Years, but he wasn’t worried about that. His friendship with Castiel was the easiest he’s ever had, and Dean knew Castiel wouldn’t be wierded out by his sudden appearance. 

Dean needed a friend after his break-up- or _break_ , conversation with Lisa, so he got in his car the next day and drove to LA. He thought about seeing his brother, but Sam was busy with law school and Dean didn’t want to bother him. Castiel was the only other person he could think of that he would cheer him up.

When Castiel walked up to his door, having not noticed Dean sitting on the patio furniture behind him, Dean felt his heart do a familiar flip that was a common occurrence whenever Dean was around Castiel. Or thought about Castiel. 

He was wearing jeans with holes in the knees and a worn red t-shirt, but Castiel looked just as beautiful as ever.

“Hey.” Dean called to him.

Castiel stilled, his back still turned away from Dean. When he turned around, there was a furrow to his brow like he was trying to figure something out. There was also a slight tilt to Castiel’s head.

God, Dean missed that.

“Dean?” Castiel finally said, the corner of his mouth lifting. “What are you-”

“Life.” Dean said simply, shrugging.

Castiel looked at him thoughtfully, then nodded.

“Come inside, I’ll make some tea.”

Dean followed Castiel through his front door, then closed it behind him. 

The apartment looked pretty much the same, except for the framed photos that littered the walls. Some were black and white, others were wildly colorful. There were some that had everything blurred except for one focused object or person. 

They were all very impressive.

“Did you do these?” Dean asked, looking closely at one of a city skyline at night. The lights of cars and apartments were blurred, but a couple was kissing in front and were in perfect focus.

“Yes.” Castiel said, coming to stand next to him and handing Dean a cup of tea. “I do a lot of different things. Weddings and birthdays and things like that for money, but a friend of mine is opening a gallery downtown and he said he’d hang some of my stuff.”

“That’s awesome.” Dean said, staring at the picture a little longer as he sipped his tea. “You’re really good, Cas.”

Castiel looked down and blushed. “Thank you Dean.”

Dean went over to the couch and sat down. He didn’t really want to just unload his problems on Castiel, but at the same time he kind of wanted to talk about them, which was unusual for him. Dean wanted Castiel’s opinion. He trusted him.

“So.” Castiel said, coming to sit next to Dean. “Life?”

“Break-up...or break. I don’t actually know...she didn’t specify.” Dean didn’t look at Castiel as he said this. It felt kind of weird talking about his current romantic relationship with someone he had definite romantic vibes with, but Dean kept going because Castiel was also his friend. “She said I was never around, that I worked too much.”

“Do you?” Castiel asked, no judgment in his voice.

“Yes.” Dean nodded. “But she knew going in what it would be like. Lisa started her own business a couple years ago, so she knows what its like at the beginning. It takes a few years for things to get settled down and stable.”

“It sounds like she wasn’t being very supportive.”

“I mean, I know it wasn’t easy for her. Ash and I work constantly, but things are going really well. We even have a meeting in New York coming up that could make this go national.”

“That’s wonderful Dean.” Castiel replied with a proud smile. “Who knew air freshners were so marketable. 

The phone rang then, and Castiel jumped up to grab it.

“Excuse me a moment.”

“Sure, no problem.” Dean said, taking another sip of his tea. 

He could hear Castiel answer his phone, and made out some of his conversation, despite Castiel’s hushed tone.

_I don’t know Meg....just showed up...No! No stop it, it’s not like.....Okay, I will. Stop it. Goodbye._

Dean placed his tea on the table and got up from the couch. When Castiel re-emerged from the kitchen Dean was standing by the door again.

“Where are you going?” Castiel asked, worried look on his face.

“What’s your stance on pancakes, Cas?”

 

***  
They settled into their booth and found themselves behind two sticky menus at Pancake world. 

Castiel kept his eyes on Dean, who looked nothing like his old self when he showed up on Castiel’s doorstep. Where Castiel remembered Dean’s eyes being bright and cheerful and his smile genuine and unhindered, now he saw dullness in the man’s green eyes and not even a hint of the smile Castiel knew Dean was capable of.

Castiel didn’t like seeing Dean this way, but he also understood where the man was coming from. A relationship that he invested time and energy into, had turned out not to be what Dean thought it was. That really messes with you.

Castiel sighed behind his menu and took another peek at Dean. 

He looked so depressing, reading through the pancake selection with a frown on his face.

Castiel went with his gut. 

He stuck two white straws up his nose.

“Do you know what you’re going to have yet?” Castiel asked with a straight face.

Dean looked up at him and a glimmer of a smile pulled at his right lip.

“I just can’t decide.” Castiel said, straws still sticking out of his nose. “So many options.”

When he looked up at Dean and found that he was still not smiling the way Castiel wanted him to, Castiel pulled the straws out of his nose and put down his menu.

“Come on, Dean.” Castiel said kindly. “You’ve got to let it go. I mean, I know it’s difficult, but experience has taught me that dwelling doesn’t make it any easier.”

Castiel reached across the table and put his hand over Dean’s. 

“Smile.” Castiel said. “You’re here with me. Did you think that would happen again?”

He reached across the table again and poked the side of Dean’s mouth upwards, forcing a smile to the man’s lips.

Dean finally let out a chuckle at Castiel’s persistence. The smile that followed was just as beautiful as Castiel remembered it to be.

“There it is.” Castiel said softly. “That’s the one.”

“You’re a pest.” Dean said with a straight face that lasted all of three seconds. Then he smiled again. “Thank you.”

Castiel picked back up his menu, pleased with himself. “You’re welcome.”

“Hi!” Awoman greeted them as she approached their table. Castiel looked up to find his friend Anna.

“Hello!” Castiel said with a wide smile, standing up to hug her. “How are you Anna? It’s been so long.”

 

“I know, I miss you!” Anna replied. “I’m-I’m good, really good. What about you?” 

Castiel stepped back.

“I’m pretty good too.” 

“Listen,” Anna said, almost nervously. “I’d love to get together soon, so we can talk.”

“Sure, absolutely.” Castiel replied, nodding. “I’d like that.”

A man’s voice came up beside them. 

“Hey babe, do you have a few dollars for the waitress?” 

Anna’s eyes went wide, so Castiel turned to see who had joined them.

It was Michael. Michael...and Anna. Together.

“Um.” Castiel said dumbly. 

Michael turned to Castiel and his mouth fell open.

“Castiel...hi.” He said, looking between Castiel and Anna.

“Castiel, I know I should have told you-” Anna started but she was interrupted.

Dean stood up quickly and pushed his hand out to Michael.

“Hi!” He said, overly cheerily. Dean sounded miles away from the heartached state he was in moments before.“I’m Dean. Nice to meet you.”

Michael shook his hand and nodded. “Michael.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, giving Michael a fake smile. “I know who you are. And you Anna, I remember you too. You and Castiel were pretty good friends last time I heard.” 

He gave Anna a glare that looked borderline friendly, but Castiel could see the disapproval in his eyes.

“Um, yeah.” Anna said awkwardly. “Well, um I guess we should be going.”

Michael nodded. “Yeah.”

Castiel just stood there, completely in shock.

“I’ll call you later,” Anna said over her shoulder as she and Michael walked away. “We can talk.”

“Uh huh.” Castiel replied back, not even looking at her. 

He slumped back down in the booth and stared down at the menu with a stunned look on his face.

It’s not like he gave two shits about Michael anymore, but Anna? Anna was one of his best friends. Or at least she _was_. About six months ago she sort of disappeared from their social circle. She said she met someone, but Castiel never knew who.

Now he did.

Michael. 

_His_ Michael.

Well not _his_ Michael, not anymore. Castiel didn’t even want him anymore, but it still hurt to see him happy with his ex-best friend. 

He could have done without that.

Dean’s spirits must have made a dramatic U-turn, because he seemed to have a lot more energy than before. 

“Well!” He said, looking at his menu. “I am starving!”

“Let’s get out of here.” Castiel said blankly, still unsure of anything but knowing he needed to run.

“Right.” Dean said quickly, dropping his menu immediately and standing up from the table to lead them out of the restaurant.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean drove them up the coast, and Castiel sat in the passenger seat, wind blowing through his hair from the open window.

“You know, it’s not like I even want him back or anything.” Castiel continued on his rant. “We were all wrong for each other, I know that now.” 

“Uh huh.” Dean said, eyes on the road. His mind was working overdrive on how to get Castiel out the funk he had been in, ever since he saw his ex-friend with his ex-lover. 

“It’s just I can’t believe she would do this...and not even tell me!” Castiel exclaimed, gesturing wildly. “The betrayal-”

Dean interrupted him.

“Come on, Cas.” His eyes going from Castiel to the road in sweeping motions. 

“Let it go. You’re with me.” He echoed Castiel’s sentiment to him from earlier, hoping it would make Castiel smile.

It did, but not for long.

“When Meg finds out she is going to kill Anna.” Castiel kept on, shaking is head. “No wonder she’s been in hiding.”

Dean reached for the radio and tried to find something to listen to.

“Yeah, makes sense.” He placated, half-listening. Dean wanted to distract Castiel, get him out of his own head. 

“You know, it was Anna who introduced us?” 

Dean found a song, turned up the radio, and started singing along.

_“I just cant look, it’s kiiiilling meeee and taaaking controoool. Jeallllousy turning saints into the sea. Swimming through sick luuuuullabys...”_

“I mean, of all the people for her to shack up with? She chose Michael?”

_”..Choking on your allllibies, but its just the price I paaay, Density is calling me. Open up my eeegaar eyyyees...”_

Castiel snickered as Dean sang, but continued to talk, even raising his voice to be heard over Dean’s singing.

“Can you believe her? I meAN SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.”

_”CUZ I’M MISTER BRIGHTSIIIIDE!!!”_

“DONT YOU THINK THAT’S AWFUL, DEAN?”

“ _COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND I’VE BE DOING JUST FINE! GOTTA GOTTA BE DOWN BECAUSE I WANT IT ALL!”_

Dean’s throat was going to hurt if he kept this up, but his plan was working because Castiel was laughing as he tried to come up with more things to yell over Dean’s singing about.

“SHE SERIOUSLY IS THE WOR-...”

Castiel stopped yelling over the music and finally rolled his eyes and let out another laugh. The next time Castiel opened his mouth, it was to join Dean in belting out The Killers.

_“HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS? IT WAS ONLY A KISS, IT WAS ONLY A KISS!”_

 

***  
They stopped at a gas station about two hours into their trip. Dean filled up the tank and Castiel bought snacks and booze inside the convenience store. 

His hands were overflowing with junk food and two bottles of wine as he exited, and Dean was pretty sure it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Castiel proceeded to throw a bag of cheetos at him while Dean finished topping off his baby.

“That’s assault!” Dean accused, catching the bag once it bounced off his chest.

“See if I ever buy you lunch again.” Castiel said back, tossing the goods in the back seat.

“Lunch? Cas, this is not lunch. This is snacks.” Dean replied. He opened the bag and tossed a few cheetos in his mouth as he got back into the car. “Lunch involves a meal, preferably with beef of some kind.”

Castiel rolled his eyes.

“Be grateful.” He gestured towards the steering wheel. “Do you want me to drive for awhile?”

Dean balked. “No offense Cas, but I’ve never seen you drive and I don’t really want to start now, while we are riding in my baby.”

Castiel gave Dean a look that made it known how unimpressed he was with Dean’s statement.

“What?” Dean said, starting up his car. “I gotta protect my number one girl.”

“Uh huh.” Castiel said, putting on his seat belt. “Maybe that’s the real reason Lisa wants a break. She’s jealous.”

Dean gave Castiel a very good impression of his little brother’s bitch face.

“Actually, you’re not too off the mark there.” Dean said, pullin g out of the gas station and heading back towards the highway. “Lisa said she didn’t want to be number three or four in my life. She said, she was okay with being number two, but not if number one was selling air fresheners online.”

Castiel opened his moon pie and stuffed most of it in, all at once. He turned towards Dean and opened his mouth.

“Wan’ sum’ pie?” His words were garbled, since his mouth was full of chocolate moon pie, but Dean understood enough to know that Castiel was trying to take his mind off his troubles with Lisa. 

He laughed then stuffed a few cheetos in his mouth.

“Wan’ sum chee’os?”

 

***

They stopped driving when the moon was high in the sky and pulled over at a rest stop that had a National Park entrance. 

Castiel set them up on the hood of Dean’s car and they laid back and ate some more snacks and passed a bottle of wine back and forth. 

The day had been nice. Two friends distracting each other from the things that they really didn’t want to think about. 

But now they were tired and full of junk food and wine, and Castiel wanted to make sure his friend was okay. Despite the jokes and the teasing, Castiel cared a lot about Dean, and if Dean needed to talk about Lisa, then he wanted to be there for him.

“Did you love her?” Castiel finally asked, when they popped open a second bottle of wine. 

“I think so.” Dean didn’t hesitate. “But it’s so hard to tell sometimes, you know? I mean...if it wasn’t love, it was a lot like it.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Castiel said, taking a small sip of wine. 

“Do you still love Michael?” Dean asked, the glow from the moon highlighting the freckles on his face.

“No.” Castiel replied. “Thats not why I was upset to see him with Anna. I’m definitely over him.”

“It’s a shitty thing for her to do.” Dean said as Castiel passed him the bottle of wine. “Not what friends are supposed to do. Exes are off limits.”

“Yes.” Castiel nodded and looked up at the moon. “Very shitty of her.”

The night was warm and the moon was full. The park they stopped at was full of rolling hills, rock ledges, and trees. Without the city lights, the sky was bright with stars. 

Castiel lulled his head to the side and looked past Dean’s car to a rock ledge a hundred feet away. It was bookended by two large trees and the moon shined perfectly full behind it.

It was a beautiful set up. 

So beautiful, in fact, it gave Castiel an idea.

 

***

Dean was naked.

Not just a little bit, but completely. 

Castiel was too.

Of course, the last time Dean thought about getting naked with Castiel, there weren’t cameras involved and there was a very soft bed beneath them. 

Dean stood perfectly still on the rock ledge, holding his junk in his hand as Castiel set up his camera by the car. Castiel’s body was cast in shadows, so Dean couldn’t get a good look at the good stuff, but he could see more skin than he had so far, which was a plus.

“I cant believe you talked me into this.” Dean called out to him. “This is insane.”

“No, it isn’t.” Castiel said, positioning his camera on his tripod and pressing a few buttons. “It’ll be gorgeous.”

He pressed another button and looked through the window.

“Okay, after it starts, the shutter will stay open for forty seconds, so you have to stay completely still for it to work. Okay?”

“Fine. Just get over here.” Dean said, feeling self conscious as he stood naked and alone on the rock ledge.

Castiel pressed a button on his camera and then ran over to the rock ledge to join Dean. He kept his hand over himself, which meant Dean still didn’t get a good look. 

When Castiel got to Dean, he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and Dean pulled his arms around Castiel’s waist, just as Castiel had instructed him to do. 

The camera would see two naked bodies in shadow, heads angled so they could stare into each other’s eyes. Their bodies were pressed flush together, and the moon and stars shined behind them. If they stayed perfectly still, the picture would turn out with their bodies in focus and the moon and stars blurred in the background.

However, with Castiel’s naked body pressed against him, Dean found it incredibly hard not to move. Castiel looked up at him with the most awed expression as he stood stark still, and Dean returned the look, just as captivated. 

It wasn’t for the camera; their faces would be in shadow anyway.

It was for them. 

Looking down at Castiel, Dean felt something in him wake up. Something he knew was missing, but didn’t know how to find. 

And there it was. Just like that.

Just by looking down at Castiel. His mind wiped clear of everything that wasnt a gorgeous blue eyed angel staring back at him. 

Their faces were inches apart, and Dean knew he was supposed to stay perfectly still, but with Cas’ groin pressed against his, he was having a lot of trouble not moving...in certain places.

Castiel’s lips twitched up slightly.

“You’re moving.” 

“Can’t help it.” Dean said, still trying to stay still but failing as his blood rushed downwards.

Dean was counting in his head, and he was sure it had been forty seconds, but Castiel didn’t move. His eyes were on Dean’s lips though, and Dean leaned his head in closer. 

Castiel met Dean’s lips slowly. It was a soft, melting kiss that would be seared into Dean’s mind for the rest of his life.

The kiss didn’t stay soft for very long.

 

***

Castiel fumbled with the car’s door handle as Dean pressed him up against it. They rolled their naked hips together and Castiel sucked a mark onto Dean’s neck.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have, but Castiel felt like Dean belonged to him somehow, even if he really didn’t. 

When he finally pulled the car door open, the men tumbled inside. Dean situated himself between Cas’ legs and lined up their groins so they could rub their dicks together.

As soon as he was in position and rutting against Castiel, Castiel arched his back into the contact.

“Oh...oh god.” Castiel moaned, kissing his way up Dean’s jaw and sucking on his earlobe. “ _Dean._.”

“Cas..God, I’ve wanted you like this for so long.” Dean mumbled, kissing Castiel deeply and picking up his rhythm as they they slid together.

The friction was getting to be too much without lube, so Dean sat up awkwardly in the back seat and gave Castiel his hand.

Castiel knew exactly what Dean wanted, and proceeded to lick Dean’s hand down. He worked each finger into his mouth one at time, and Dean watched him with lidded, pupil blown eyes. It made Castiel want to repeat the first activity Dean and Castiel ever engaged in, but there would be time for that later. 

Once coated, Dean took his hand and wrapped it around both of their dicks. He used their precum to slicken them even more, and Castiel’s head dropped back at the amazing feeling of not only Dean’s hand but Dean’s dick as well, rubbing together and making Castiel’s eyes roll back in his head.

“I won’t last.” Dean huffed, his breath ragged. “Cas...I..”

“Me too.” Castiel said, his hands going up to palm Dean’s ass and squeeze it as Dean picked up his pace and worked them closer to orgasm. “Feels so... _good._

When he came, Castiel cried out Dean’s name, and enjoyed the feeling of Dean’s come mixing with his own when it fell onto his stomach. 

Without regard to the sticky mess that awaited him, Dean fell on top of Castiel and kissed him again.

Castiel laughed when Dean realized what he had done.

“Ugh.” Dean said, smiling down at Castiel as Castiel laughed at him. “You’re a mess.”

“Now so are you.” 

Dean propped himself up slightly and looked at the mess between their bodies. Then he shrugged and kissed Castiel again.

“Worth it.”

 

***

Dean really didn’t want to go, but he had to. He had a flight the next morning to New York, where he and Ash were having their venture capital meeting. It could mean major money for them and their business if things went well, so he couldn't miss it.

He drove Castiel back to his house the next morning, where a not entirely comfortable silence coated the car on their way back.

Dean wasn’t sure what Castiel was feeling, but he was incredibly confused.

He thought he understood what he and Castiel had. He thought they were friends with some not so friendly feelings for each other. They were friends that hooked up when they were in town, and continued to be friends afterwards. He cared about Cas, but it’s not like they were in any position to actually be together. He assumed Castiel felt the same way.

Only, when Dean told Castiel that he had to go, the morning they woke up in each others arms in the back seat of his car, Castiel kind of shut down. He smiled and joked some while they got dressed and back on the road, but there was a clear difference. 

_Did Castiel want more?_

By the time they made it back to Castiel’s house, Dean felt like he needed to say something. Something to set the record straight, something to clear the air.

They stood next to his car, preparing to say goodbye, but Dean hadn’t a clue what to say. He had so many different thoughts racing through his head, he didn’t know which one to focus one. One of those thoughts was that Dean might have cheated on Lisa last night, which definitely wasn’t okay if that’s what he did. She had said break, but the tone was definitely more of break-up.

Plus, he was about to drive 400 miles home, which was a little too far away to think seriously about trying something more serious with Castiel, despite how much his heart violently disagreed.

When he finally opened his mouth, Dean was so overwhelmed, something stupid came out.

“I’m uh, still trying to sort through my feelings about uh...”

“Lisa?” Castiel finished for him, one eyebrow raised.

“Lisa, yeah.” Dean nodded. “I didn’t forget her name.”

“I know.” Castiel smiled. “I get it. We’re good.”

“We are?” Dean asked, unsure. Castiel didn’t looked completely fine, but he didn’t really look like he was falling apart either.

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. “I met someone. So..”

“You met someone?”

“Yeah.” Castiel smiled kindly and nodded again. “You know, it’s not like we are getting married or anything, but...he’s nice.”

“Wait...I’m confused.” Dean said, staring down at Castiel. “When did you- I mean, I don’t-”

“Listen, you’ve got my number and I’ve got yours. Let’s just keep in touch, alright? Let me know how your meeting in New York goes.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. 

He didn’t know why he was so derailed at the idea of Castiel seeing someone. Maybe it was because they spent last naked in each other’s arms, but it wasn’t _just_ that. He didn’t like the idea of Castiel moving on and finding someone.

Dean didn’t like that at all.

“Um, Cas... I-”

“Don’t” Cas interrupted. He pulled Dean into a hug. “You’ll ruin it.”

 

***

Dean’s cell phone rang in his pocket, just as he was leaving his venture capital meeting with Ash. The meeting had gone well, he only messed up once during the presentation, but he felt like they did their best. Now they just had to wait and see. The investors said they’d call them within a week, so they wouldn’t have to wait long.

Dean was on the sidewalk outside the investor’s skyscraper when he answered the phone.

“Hello?” He asked, his phone not having the number programmed.

“Hey.” Castiel’s voice came over the line and Dean felt a piece of him settle. “Are you still in New York?”

“Yeah.” Dean answered. “Just finished with the meeting. Everything went well. Should hear back soon.”

“That’s great Dean.” Castiel sounded troubled. There was a hitch in his voice that Dean had never heard before.

“Cas?”

“Can you do something for me Dean?”

 

***

Castiel described to Dean where in the graveyard his father’s grave was.

“Have you found it?” Castiel asked through the phone, taking in a long breath as he listened for Dean to answer.

“Yeah, Cas. I found it.” Dean answered, his tone slow and careful.

“How does it look?” Castiel asked, wiping a tear as it pushed its way over his lashes and slid down his cheek. 

“It uh, it looks good, Cas.” Dean said softly. 

“What kind of flowers did you get?” 

“Um, blue?” Dean answered. Castiel could hear his friend’s apologetic smile through the phone. “Is that okay?”

“Thats perfect.” Castiel replied, wiping away more tears. “It’s his birthday today.”

“I’m sorry Cas.” Dean said softly. Castiel could hear shuffling on Dean’s end, like he was sitting down and settling into the grass.

“Tell me something.” Castiel said.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay, just say anything.”

Castiel didn’t want to feel so sad, and he knew Dean could make him smile.

Dean waited a moment, then started talking.

“An old lady comes outside to water her garden, and sees the little neighbor boy digging a hole in his backyard. She calls to him and asks what he is doing. He replies, _“Digging a grave for my goldfish.”_ The old lady thought that was sweet, but she was confused by the size of the hole. _“If its for your goldfish, why is the grave so big?”_ The little boy replied, _“Because my goldfish is inside your stupid cat._ ”

Castiel closed his eyes and grimaced, but let out a laugh a second later.

“Horrible.” He said, still laughing. “That’s a horrible joke.”

Castiel could hear Dean laughing softly too.

“Did the trick didn’t it?” 

Castiel nodded, even though Dean couldn’t see him.

“Thank you Dean.”

 

***

Dean sat in his seat at his gate and watched as people boarded the airplane.

He sat and waited, unable to commit to the plan he had formulated on the drive over.

“Sir?” A flight attendant came over to him. “Will you be flying with us to Los Angeles today?”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know.”

The woman sat down next to him. “Is everything alright sir?”

“No.” Dean answered honestly. 

Then he just started talking, as if the flight attendant had any interest in his current predicament. 

“He lives in Los Angeles and my work is in San Francisco. It’s not like- I mean, if we get the VC money we are going to be so busy, it’s not like I’ll have time to really... It’s like, how can I be there for him, if I don’t even have my stuff figured out?”

The flight attendant looked sympathetic, so Dean kept going.

“And I was clear with him from the start, you know? I was like, from the first day we met, I told him that I had to have my things...my work and stuff...that I had to- you know, have my stuff set up before I could get into anything.”

It felt good to get that out, but Dean was left with a very confused looking flight attendant. Also, he just embarrassed the shit out of himself by unloading on her like that.

“So,” The woman said kindly. “Does that mean you wont be flying with us to Los Angeles today?”

Dean sighed and let the embarrassment wash over him again. This woman didn’t care about his problems, and she definitely didn’t want to be sitting there hearing about them.

Dean gave have her a weak smile.

“No, I won’t be flying to Los Angeles today.”


	7. Chapter 7

_ONE YEAR LATER_

 

Dean opened his eyes and found the same textured ceiling he woke up to the first eighteen years of his life. He rolled over and saw his AC/DC poster and the Cal Ripkin Jr. figurine his brother got him for Christmas one year. The smell of his freshly laundered comforter, which was the same one he lost his virginity under, brought back memories of helping his mother with the laundry, and holding warm sheets and blankets up to his nose before folding them. 

There were loud noises coming from the garbage truck down the street, and Dean could hear them clearly through the open window. The same open window where he snuck in the girl he lost his virginity to. 

His childhood bedroom,;a place Dean didn’t think he would be sleeping in again outside of family holidays.

Except, now he lives there again. 

His company went under just seven months after they got the VC money. 

Dean and Ash had thought themselves untouchable after they got the money. Their business took off, just as they expected, but then it plummeted just as quickly. 

Dean was blindsided. 

When he asked his parents to move back in, just until he could figure something out, he never felt so much like a failure. It wasn’t like Dean was passionate about his work, it was just a way to make money, but it still meant something to him. Everything he worked for was gone, and he was left with nothing but a backpack full of air fresheners and a key chain from the Mercedes Benz he had to return.

And Lisa broke up with him again.

They had reconciled a few months after his road trip with Castiel. Dean wasn’t even sure it was what he wanted, but he knew Lisa was a good catch, so Dean thought he’d be stupid not to make it work.

It didn’t. 

She wanted him to commit completely, and Dean just wasn’t ready for that. Especially since his business folded. Dean always thought he would be really secure in life before he got married, and Lisa wasn’t willing to wait anymore.

So she asked him to leave.  
Which brought Dean back under his parents roof, leaving him to stare up at his water stained, childhood bedroom ceiling and contemplating where everything went wrong.

 

***

Dean spent the first week at his parents house, helping his father in his garage and helping his mother around the house. He felt disgusted with himself that he was forced to move back home at almost thirty years old, so he made it a point to work his ass off while he was there.

It helped that Dean always liked helping his father in the garage that he owned. Dean could take apart and rebuild an engine. He could change oil and replace brake pads, but none of that gave Dean any sort of _joy_. 

It’s not like selling air fresheners online gave him joy either, but the fact that it was _his_ , that made his business incredibly fulfilling.

Just like when he rebuilt his baby, Dean loved doing that. He was creating something there, he wasn’t just maintaining it. Making classic cars not only work, but beautiful again?

Yeah, Dean loved the idea of that.

 

***

“Why don’t you take the day off Dean?” Mary Winchester pushed back the hair on Dean’s forehead as he ate his breakfast. “Go downtown and walk around or something. Get out and clear your head a bit?”

“Dad’s got a full load today, he needs me to-”

“I don’t need shit.” John Winchester replied, not even looking up from his newspaper. “Go ahead and do the soul searching thing today. The garage will be there tomorrow.”

Dean grinned and shook his head.

“Thanks, pop.”

“Mhmm.” John said, distracted by the news. “Pass the milk, will ya?”

 

***  
Dean saw a revival showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show and Batman Begins in the same day. He ate lunch in Calabasas, then drove back down the coast to walk around like his mother suggested. 

He caught a very impressive street performance outside of an art gallery, and gave the girl the only cash he had on him. 

When he turned around to head back in the other direction, there was a picture in the art gallery’s window that caught his eye.

Dean walked closer to inspect it.

The photo was of a couple kissing, their faces in perfect focus, while the blinding lights of the city whirl past them in a blur in the background.

Dean recognized it immediately.

_Cas._

Dean’s chest filled with pride that his friend had gotten his picture into a gallery downtown, and he smiled at it for a long time before venturing inside. He wasn’t sure if Castiel would actually be there, but he checked his hair out in the window anyway.

They had talked a couple times after their road trip, but one of them forgot to call the other one back and they lost touch again. It was probably for the best, since Dean ended up getting back together with Lisa, and having Castiel in his life was very confusing for Dean.

Things with Castiel were so simple, so effortless. It made Dean feel like he shouldn’t have to try so hard with Lisa. They seemed to argue a lot more than they should, and Dean wasn’t entirely sure it was his fault.

He could ride around in the car with Castiel for hours at a time, and the only thing they would argue about is who could sing The Killer’s louder. His relationship with Castiel made him feel like he could be good at something. Dean felt better around him, stronger.

Dean was now in the same city as Castiel, in the very gallery Castiel had placed his photographs, but there was still something holding him back from calling him.

Probably the crushing failure that was his life. 

 

***

Castiel actually had several photos in the gallery, each one designated with a little white card beneath it, with his name on it. He named most of them, but there were a couple that were just ‘ _Untitled._ ’

Dean walked slowly, taking in each picture as he got to them.

Then, just before he reached the counter where a dark skinned woman with bright red hair stood, Dean saw something that made his heart leap into his chest.

The photo was of two figures, cast in shadows. Their bodies were close, their arms wrapped around each other. The background was full of stars and the brightest, fullest moon Dean had ever seen. The night’s sky was blurred, while the couple was in perfect focus. 

Except their faces.

They looked liked they were about to kiss.

Dean felt his face get hot, seeing his own naked body displayed like this for anyone to see. They didn’t _know_ it was his naked body, of course, but Dean still felt a little exposed. Not enough to say anything to Castiel about it though.

With his eyes on the photo, Dean thought about that night he spent with Castiel. He thought about the way the man felt beneath him, and the way his lips caressed his own. He thought about the laughs they shared and how incredibly comfortable he was around Castiel. 

He thought about the fact that if it wouldn’t be insane to do so, Dean might call Castiel his best friend.

“Is there anything I can help you with, Sir?”

Startled, Dean stepped back from the wall of Castiel’s pictures and turned to the woman. She was the kind of beautiful that made people blush just by looking at her, and Dean did.

“Um, no.” He said, gesturing towards the photos he was just staring at. “These are great.”

“Yes.” The woman answered. “ _Fated Moonlight_ is the artist’s most popular piece.”

Dean squinted at the photo Dean took of them, and read the title underneath it.

Fated Moonlight.

Dean thought fate was a very interesting word to use for a photo of them.

The way Dean understood fate, was that if you were destined to do something or meet someone, fate would make it so. Was that what was happening with him and Castiel? Were they destined for one another?

Dean shook his head to get rid of the thought as soon as it entered his mind. That was, of course, ridiculous. Fate wasn’t a real thing, and if it was, it was telling them they were wrong for each other. If they were really meant to be together, shouldn’t they already be,,,you know _together?_

“Does the, uh, artist come in often?” Dean asked, aiming for nonchalance.

“Yes, he comes in once or twice a week usually.” The woman answered, angling towards the door to greet another person. “You just missed him actually.”

Dean had trouble containing his smile.

Fate or no fate, Dean knew exactly how he was going to see his friend again.

***

Dean stalked around the gallery for the next few days. 

He ate lunch across the street and perused a comic book shop for a few hours to kill time, looking up at the street’s window every other minute to see if he could see Castiel.

Just as he was about to give up on the third day, he saw him.

It was just from behind, and the guy was walking too quickly to get a good look, but Dean ran out of the comic book shop and across the street immediately.

Dean checked his hair out in the window again, and practiced what he would say when he caught Castiel off guard. 

He was standing at the counter when Dean entered the gallery. He was wearing kakis and a blue polo, which wasn’t exactly Castiel’s style but Dean was too distracted to notice.

Dean walked right up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“There’s a naked photo of me-”

The man turned around. 

It wasn’t Castiel. 

He didn’t look pleased by Dean’s greeting.

“-uh.” Dean cut himself off. “Um, sorry...wrong person.

Dean walked very quickly out of the gallery and didn’t go back.

 

***

Dean watched the tide roll in with his brother by his side for the first time in what felt like years.

“It was cool of you to come home, Sammy.” Dean said, staring out at the ocean. “I know you’re busy.”

“It’s cool Dean.” Sam said back. He threw a piece of driftwood out and it got caught in the tide. “I need a break from studying anyway. Law school is...well it’s basically every nightmare you’ve ever had about school multiplied by a thousand.” He laughed, then shrugged. “But I love it.”

“That’s good man.” Dean said, slapping his brother on the back. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks Dean.” Sam replied. He smiled at his big brother. “Sorry about...you know, everything.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah. Everything. That about sums it up.”

“Have you called Castiel yet?” Sam asked, one eyebrow raised.

Dean balked. “What? Shut up.”

Sam laughed. “Come on Dean, I know you want to. Just call him.”

“What do I tell him?” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “Hey Cas, my business folded and I’m living with my parents again, but maybe you want to take me on a date anyway?” 

Sam laughed again.

“Why not? From the way you talked about him, that would probably work.”

“Yeah, probably.” Dean sighed. “But what’s the point? I don’t have anything figured out. I gotta get my crap together before I can start anything real with Cas. My life...it’s gotta be a litte less full of shit.”

“Dean,” Sam said softly, putting a hand on his big brother’s shoulder. “This is your life, right now. You can’t wait for it to be perfect before you actually live it.”

Dean thought about that for a moment. 

He didn’t think he was much of a catch at the moment, considering how fucked up everything was, but if he was sure of anything, it was Castiel. He was his friend above anything else, and he could really use a friend.

“Yeah, maybe.” Dean said. He looked out at the ocean. “He’s a good guy, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind being friends with a fuck up like me.”

“One, you’re not a fuck up. Two, you and I both know you two are a lot more than friends.” Sam shot back, eyebrows raised. “Why not just got for it? I mean, you live close to him again and you obviously really care about each other.”

Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother.

“Go for it? With Cas?”

“Yeah, I mean- just go over there and tell him you want to actually be with him.”

“How do you even know that’s what I want?” Dean accused.

Sam gave Dean a rather perfected version of his bitch face.

“Dean. Come on.”

Dean let out a long sigh and looked out at the ocean.

Sam was right, he really _did_ want to be with Castiel. Not just as his friend, but really _with_ him. 

But it had been a year since they had seen each other though, and six months since they had talked. 

Who knew where Castiel was in his life? If he even still wanted Dean the way he did before?

Being with his brother and listening to him rattle on about grand romantic gestures, though, gave Dean a lot more confidence. 

He _had_ been working on something, just to impress Castiel...

An idea began to take shape.

 

***

_This is fucking stupid._

_I am a goddamn idiot._

Dean strummed along the guitar once softly, testing his resolve just as much as the tuning of his guitar.

He stood outside Castiel’s apartment, surrounded by the patio furniture of the courtyard.

Dean saw Castiel’s car in the lot, so he was sure he was home, but he didn’t know how long it would be before Castiel heard him. If he would even hear him at all.

Dean turned up the amp, so Castiel was sure to hear him, then took a deep breath.

He didn’t let it out until the he played the first notes of the song.

Dean could hear his heart thumping in his chest as he played the intro, and it wasn’t long before neighbors began to look out their windows and step out onto the patio to watch him. 

One of them yelled at him to shut up, but most had smiles on their faces.

He was almost at the part where he would have to start singing, when Castiel’s front door opened. Dean didn’t look at him straight on at first, he was too afraid of his reaction. 

_I know you know we’ve had some good times._  
_Now they have their own hiding place._  
_Well, I can promise you tomorrow._  
_But I can’t buy back yesterday._

Dean summoned his courage and looked up.  
Castiel was smiling, but the emotion behind it was difficult to pin point. Dean saw surprise and happiness, but he also saw something unpleasant in his friends eyes. Castiel looked good, _really_ good. He had on his black skinny jeans and blue t-shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes.  
“Dean, you-” Castiel tried to say, but Dean cut him off.  
“Don’t say anything, I’ll lose my nerve. Just, uh, let me get through it.”  
Castiel looked like he really wanted to argue, but he just let out a small chuckle and nodded.  
Dean started to play again. 

_And baby you know my hands are dirty,_  
_but I wanted you to be my valentine._  
_I’ll be the water when you get thirsty baby,_  
_When you get drunk, I’ll be the wine._

Dean looked at Castiel again, his fingers stumbling over the chords that he had just barely learned. He gave him his most charming smile, before belting out the next part of the song.

_Now I’m praying to God, you’ll give me one more chance, boy!_

_I’ll be there for you._  
_These five words I swear to you._  
_When you breathe, I want to be the air for you._  
_I’ll be there for you._

Castiel was smiling, but a hand covered his mouth. Dean continued to sing to him.

 _I live and I die for you._  
_Steal the sun from the sky for you._  
_Words can’t say what love can do._  
_I’ll be there for you._

When he was finished, Dean was able to see more clearly Castiel’s apprehensive stance. His hands were fidgeting and his eyes looked more sad than his smile alluded to.

Dean tried not to let that deter the reason he was there. He was going to lay it all out for him, he was going to put himself out there because not only did Castiel deserve the best, Dean had to know he tried. He didn’t want to look back in ten years and wonder what would have been if he had just _tried_.

The crowd that had collected around the courtyard clapped for him, and Castiel joined in.

“I, uh, I know how much you love Bon Jovi.” Dean joked and tried not to throw up.

Castiel shook his head, smiling softly. “I really don’t.” 

Castiel stared at him for a moment, and Dean was so terrified he didn’t even want Castiel to say anything until he had had a chance to explain himself.”

“Dean-”

“Cas, my life is pretty much the definition of failure. I’m broke and living with my parents again. I have no job, no prospects. And I know that I’m about six years too late on this, but...would you please give me back strike one?”

Dean could see Castiel’s chest caving in.

He wasn’t smiling anymore either, his mouth was turned into a half frown. 

It wasn’t a good sign for Dean.

“You’re...you’re seeing someone.” Dean guessed, his own chest dropping.

Castiel let out a bitter laugh.

“I’m engaged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "I'll be there for you" by Bon Jovi.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up late last night to write and edit this one. If there are any glaring spelling or grammatical errors, let me know and I'm sorry! :)
> 
> Just a time jump epilogue after this one.

Castiel really, really shouldn’t have let Dean keep singing.

He knew it, but he didn’t have the strength to stop him.

Besides, watching Dean sing to him would probably go down as one of the highlights of Castiel’s life. He didn’t looked great emotionally, but physically Dean was pretty flawless. There were bags under his eyes and he needed to shave, but Castiel still thought Dean might be the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

And that included his fiance.

They had gotten engaged only a couple weeks ago, and Castiel was nearly convinced it was the right move, until Dean showed up at his door. Luke was a lot like Castiel, and a good guy. He treated Castiel right and made him laugh. They had similar family histories and Luke was an artist, so they related to each other a lot.

Castiel couldn’t think of a single reason he was with Luke, though, the moment Dean started to play for him. Then came the part where Dean poured his heart out to him, and Castiel was forced to crush him.

After Castiel told Dean he was engaged, Dean just stood there in shock. Castiel could see tears in his eyes, and he felt like he might cry too, but he couldn’t admit to himself why.

“Do you want to come inside?” Castiel finally asked.

“No.” Dean shook his head, eyes on his feet. “I think I need the air.”

The crowd had mostly gone back inside, but Castiel was sure Dean must of felt incredibly exposed. 

“I’ll just make some tea...bring it out to you.” Castiel said, backing away towards his door.

“Don’t bother, Cas.” Dean said with a small smile. “I’m just going to go.”

“Dean-”

“No.” Dean shook his head and picked up his small amp. “I’m glad I won’t be an old man wondering...but uh, I should just go.”

Castiel walked back over to his friend and pulled him into a hug. It was one sided for a moment, but then Dean dropped his ampt and wrapped his arms around Castiel. He could feel Dean nuzzling into his neck, and it sent butteflies soaring through his entire body.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel finally whispered into Dean’s ear. “But I really liked your song.”

 

***

_SIX MONTHS LATER_

 

Castiel heaved another box to the corner of his living room to get it out of the way. He then looked around at his barely packed apartment and let out a groan. He was supposed to move in to Luke’s house this weekend, but Castiel had barely gotten the process started. 

They had yet to set a date for the wedding, mostly due to Castiel being unwilling to have that conversation, but Castiel did agree to move in with his fiance. He loved Luke, and he wanted to make him happy. 

Luke was a great guy, really good for Castiel too. They had fun together and got a long well. They had above average sex and Luke got along well with his friends. Castiel was sure marrying him was a good idea, but for some reason, he couldn’t commit to setting a date.

When Dean showed up six months earlier, Castiel almost chased after him. 

He imagined calling off the wedding and running away with Dean. Things like that don’t actually happen though, not in real life. Luke wasn’t some loser that Castiel could just discard, he was a good guy. A good guy, who loved him and wanted to commit to him for the rest of his life. 

Castiel didn’t sleep for a week after he hugged Dean goodbye in his courtyard. The guilt ripped through him, leaving crevices where tendrils of regret could seep in.

He had felt guilty for rejecting Dean, but also for wishing he hadn’t had to.

 

***

“Alright, I’m calling this shit show.” Meg announced, baby on her hip. “Just burn it down and collect the insurance.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not that bad.”

“Castiel, you’ve barely put a dent in the packing. How the hell are we supposed to move you tomorrow?”

Castiel shrugged. “U-haul?”

“They don’t provide services for lazy men with cold feet.”

“I don’t have-”

“Oh, hush.” Meg said and placed her baby in the pack and play. “You and I both know that you’ve been backing out of this thing for weeks. Luke even asked me last week if there was something going on.”

“He did?” Castiel put a few more books from his book case into the box. “What did he say?”

“Nothing specific.” Meg replied. “Just that you seemed distracted lately. Asked if I knew if there was something wrong.”

“Well,” Castiel said with a sigh. “He should just ask me. Not you.”

Castiel pulled a wicker basket down from the top of his bookcase to pack. He could feel something rolling around inside, so he pulled off the blue top.

“Yeah well, your man is nervous.” Meg said. “You’re not exactly jumping for joy over this move.”

Castiel could barely hear her.

Inside the basket there were a couple different odds and ends, but the thing that caught Castiel’s attention, was an old roll of film.

“I mean, he had to remind you to-”

Meg cut off when she got a good look at Castiel’s face. 

“Cas?” She asked, walking over to him.

Castiel held the roll of film between his fingers and stared down at it like the pictures inside had the potential to alter the course of history. 

“Is it your dad?” Meg asked softly.

“No.” Castiel shook his head, a small smile forming on his lips. “It’s Dean.”

He had forgotten it was up there. Castiel had thrown the roll in the basket when it used to sit by the front door and held his keys. When he moved it, he never took out the roll of film. 

It was silly, to feel like his heart was going to implode as it beat wildly in his chest. Just a small black cylinder of black and yellow, and Castiel was left relatively speechless.

Six, almost seven years ago, Dean took the pictures on that roll of film. 

They didn’t know each other, aside from their airplane escapade, and yet Castiel had spent the entire day with Dean. Not to mention whatever it was that possessed Castiel to get down on his knees for the man in the first place. 

That roll of film, only one of three they had filled that day, would be full of pictures of Castiel and Dean, and of strangers they met on the streets of New York. 

There would be one of Dean throwing change into a fountain, and then one of Castiel pulling his change back out and pocketing it for himself. Castiel knew he’d find a picture of Dean stuffing a hotdog down his throat, with his upper lip covered in mustard. He wasn’t completely sure, but Castiel also thought there might be a couple shots of his own ass, compliments of Dean Winchester’s epic subtly. 

“Dean?” Meg echoed. “Is he naked on them?”

Meg went for the roll of film.

“No, devil woman.” Castiel stood up and began walking towards his darkroom. “They’re of the first day we met.”

“So...dick pics?”

“You have a baby, Meg.” Castiel tried his best to sound disapproving.

“And you’re avoiding.” Meg answered, cutting Castiel’s path off. “What do you hope to find on that roll of film, Castiel? Dean isn’t actually in there, you know that right?”

“I know.” Castiel said, more wistfully than he had intended. “I just want to see them.”

“No,” Meg shook her head. “You want to see _him_.

Castiel stared at her dead on, challenging her.

“So what if I do?”

Meg backed off with her arms raised. “Hey, no skin off my back babe. If you want to fall down the rabbit hole of you and sugarlip’s epic romance, be my guest. Hell, I’ll make popcorn and we can laugh over your ill- advised punk phase, but let’s not pretend we both don’t know what’s really going on here.”

Castiel looked down at his hands where the roll of film was still firmly clutched.

“And what is that exactly.”

Meg stepped closer and placed a hand on Castiel’s arm.

“That you’re head over heels for that guy.” She said softly. “And that maybe you know Luke isn’t the one for you.”

Castiel sucked in a long, stuttering breath.

“Maybe.” He looked past his best friend towards his darkroom’s door. “No popcorn in the darkroom.”

 

***

Two hours later, Castiel sat on the floor of his half emptied apartment, surrounded by pictures of Dean. 

The ones he expected to be there, were there (including the ones of Castiel’s ass), but there were quite a few Castiel wasn’t aware of.

There was a picture of Castiel’s profile as he smoked a cigarette. He was obviously in the middle of talking, because his hands were up and he was gesturing, but Dean had taken the picture without him knowing. Castiel hadn’t smoked in over four years now, but the stress of his feelings over seeing those pictures was making him want to start again.

There was another one of Castiel laying in the grass with his eyes closed. His hands were behind his head and his shirt was tucked up just enough to see a sliver of his stomach. He had his ankles crossed and wore a playful smirk. There was also a picture of just Castiel’s crossed ankles, from the prospective of someone laying beside him. 

Of course, that was Dean, but Castiel hadn’t a clue he was snapping those photos at the time. If he didn’t know and trust him so much, Castiel might be a little freaked out that Dean had taken so many photos of him, but Castiel was flattered. He was delighted and maybe even a little smug.

Okay, maybe a lot smug, but Dean wasn’t there to call him out on it.

“He was kind of obsessed with you.” Meg said, picking up a photo of Dean trying to twirl a stick like a baton. Castiel remembered Dean had nearly poked himself in the eye with it, which led to fits of laughter from both of them.

“Yeah.” Castiel said absently, his eyes on another photo where Castiel was helping a little girl tie her shoes. “My number one fan.”

Castiel picked up a photo of Dean hunched over a map with another tourist, his eyes gleaming over something funny the other person had said. Dean was mid laugh in the picture, and something in Castiel’s chest burned.

It hurt, looking at photos of him. 

He was just so...Dean.

That was it. He was just _Dean_. 

There were countless adjectives that Castiel could tack on to Dean Winchester, but none of them would suffice.

Castiel could call him strong and brave, because he was willing to take the risks he did with his business, but those words wouldn’t capture how unstoppable a force Dean Winchester truly was. He could label him a friend, a confidant that Castiel trusted with his life, but those things didn’t touch the pure _warmth_ that radiated from Dean. Castiel could even go as so far as to call Dean the most fun person he has ever been with, but that wouldn’t be enough to describe the pure exhilaration Castiel felt whenever he was in Dean’s presence.

The truth was, Dean meant more to Castiel than any words he could find to describe him or their relationship. He surpassed that. 

Dean surpassed everything.

“Cas?” Meg’s voice was very low, she sounded more scared than anything else.

It was her voice that pulled Castiel out of his own head, and her tone that cued him in to his own tears. 

“I’m fine.” Castiel said with a sniff. He wiped his eyes.

“You're in love with him.” Meg whispered. She said it like she didn’t know it herself until that moment.

Castiel let out a helpless laugh.

“I think that’s fairly obvious, don’t you?”

 

***

That night, Luke came over after work at the hospital to help Castiel finish packing.

Except, when he got there, he found Castiel out on the patio smoking a cigarette.

Castiel didn’t mention Dean. 

Luke asked if it was him, or if Castiel just needed more time.

Castiel answered, by telling his ex-fiance that he did love him, but that he didn’t want to be with him.

Luke left and Castiel went back to smoking his cigarette.

 

***

“Why can’t you just call him?” Meg asked while she unpacked Castiel’s books and put them back on the bookcase. “You have his number, right?”

“It’s been disconnected.” Castiel said, his own phone in his hand. He had a death grip on it while he paced his living room. “I don’t have-”

Castiel stopped and his eyes widened. “Oh, fuck!”

“What?!” Meg stood up abruptly.

“His parents.” Castiel said quickly. “I have his parents number. He said he was back at his parents house.”

“That was six months ago Castiel.” Meg replied warily. “I seriously hope he isn’t still there.”

“But they would at least know how to get in touch with him.” Castiel was already moving towards his old address book. He hadn’t transferred all the numbers to his cell phone, but he did keep them all in there. 

When he found it, he flew through it until he found the small receipt with Dean’s handwriting on it. 

Castiel dialed the number without thinking about it too hard. If he did, if he stopped to think, he knew he might chicken out.

The phone rang.

And rang.

And rang.

An answering machine picked up, and Castiel hung up. 

Five minutes later, he called again. 

Same story.

Three minutes later, he tried again, this time leaving a very strangled sounding voicemail where he hoped he at least mentioned his name.

One minute later, he called again and still no one picked up.

Castiel felt like he was a live wire, ready to explode.

“No one is answering. I-I can’t just- I need to-”

“Cas.” Meg said, voice steady and calm. She put both hands on his shoulders. “Calm down. We will figure this out and you _will_ be having sex tonight.”

“That’s not what this is-”

“I know sugar, pipe down.” Meg took in a deep breath. “Okay, so you have their number? If you call information, they might give you their address.”

“What? Really?” Castiel asked, eyebrows lifting dramatically. “They’d do that?”

“They used to.” Meg shrugged. “Things have changed a lot since my phone book, booty call days, but it may still work.”

“Okay.” Castiel swallowed hard, dialed 411, and prayed to a God he didn’t believe in, that it would work.

 

***

It worked.

Except, Castiel really wished it hadn’t.

He was happy to have a way to contact Dean, but standing at his parent’s front door was something Castiel really hadn’t thought through enough. He was about to meet Dean’s parents and Dean might not even be there.

Even worse, it was likely Dean _was_ there, because there were cars lined up all along their street. The Winchesters were having some kind of party and Castiel was about to crash. 

He thought about turning around and coming back tomorrow, but being that close to Dean made him want to see his plan through. If there was a chance he could end the day in Dean’s arms, he at least had to try.

Castiel summoned his courage and knocked on the door.

He continued to knock on the door for three minutes until finally the door opened.

A man wearing a black and white suit and carrying an empty tray of food pushed past him.

“If you’re here with the ice, you’re late.”

“No, I’m...” Castiel tried to reply but the man was already half way down the sidewalk.

With the door wide open, Castiel took a hesitant step inside. 

“Hello?” He called, too softly to be affective.

He could hear sounds inside the house, bustling noises that sounded like a lot of people working rather than partying.

Castiel moved slowly further into the house. He found an empty sitting room, aside from piles of jackets, and school pictures of Dean and his little brother along the wall. He took a moment to admire those, before moving further into the house.

As he made it towards the kitchen, Castiel found the noises to be made by a catering company, setting up food in the Winchester’s dining room. 

Castiel kept moving forward, walking towards the kitchen slowly. The first thing he noticed was how bright the room was. The back of the kitchen was just wall to wall windows and a sliding glass door that led to the backyard. 

What Castiel saw there, made him want to throw up.

White chairs were set up on the lawn, with an aisle of flowers running through the middle. People were dressed nicely, dresses and suits. There was a group of women all wearing the same dress, huddled together towards the sliding glass door. At the end of the aisle of flowers, there was an archway, it too covered in flowers.

Everything he saw added up to one thing.

A wedding.

Castiel wanted to run, and his feet nearly let him, but then he caught a glimpse of someone standing under a large oak tree, just before the row of chairs began. 

Dean.

He was wearing a suit and fiddling with his bow tie. 

Dean looked irritated, but he also looked beautiful.

Castiel felt like he couldn’t breathe.

_Dean was getting married._

Castiel began to back away, but Dean’s eyes locked on to his through the sliding glass door.

Dean’s expression, something that could only be described as befuddlement, jolted Castiel into action. Castiel backed away quickly, without regard to his surroundings. 

He tried to run, but a plate full of crab cakes stopped him, as well as the large man holding them. All three went sprawling to the ground and the room turned into chaos. 

People tried to help him up. They acted as if it wasn’t his fault entirely that his ass hit the ground, but Castiel didn’t want their help.

He wanted to disappear.

Dean was by his side a moment later, just as Castiel was trying to stand up. Dean’s hands were under his arms and helping him up before Castiel could protest.

“Cas?” Dean said, politely waving away the extra help. “What-”

“I’m sorry.” Castiel blurted. “I shouldn’t...I didn’t...”

“Wh-”

“Dean, sweetheart!” An older woman called from the sliding glass door. “We’re ready for you.”

Castiel’s heart was breaking. 

He backed away.

“I should go.” Castiel knew there were tears in his eyes, so he turned away quickly and ran out of the house.

Not his proudest moment.

He made it back to his car, but fumbled with his keys as he tried to open it.

Dean was getting married. Castiel thought about who it was he could be marrying, only six months after professing his love to Castiel. He thought about how quickly he could get his car to drive and how drunk he could be in under an hour. He thought about a lot of things at once, as his heart felt like it was burning a hole in his chest.

“Cas!” Dean shouted from behind him and Castiel could do nothing but freeze.

“Dean?” Castiel turned around, his eyes wide and afraid.

He couldn’t let Dean do this. Castiel couldn’t break up a wedding like this, it wasn’t right.

Dean walked closer to him, crossing the street and standing only inches from Castiel when he stopped.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asked. His eyes were hopeful, which both excited and upset Castiel.

“I...It’s too late.” Castiel whispered, his voice catching. “I’m too late to-”

Castiel was cut off by Dean’s lips crashing into his own.

It was hard and crushing, but it was a kiss that would fuel every fantasy Castiel would dream up from that day on.

“Dean!” A man’s voice yelled from behind them. Dean pulled away and looked behind him. “What the hell?”

The man was tall, taller than Dean. He had brown hair that touched his shoulders and Castiel could tell the man took pride in it. He was well built, could probably kill Castiel will his pinky finger. Gorgeous too, of course, but there was also something familiar about him.

Dean only looked at the man for a moment though, before he turned back to a very frightened looking Castiel.

“You’re not too late.” He smiled down at Castiel. “I’m not getting married, my brother is.”

Castiel felt like an anvil was just removed from his chest. He looked back at Dean’s brother and found the man smiling.

“This is great and everything Dean, but can I get married now?”

“Just give me a minute, bitch!” Dean yelled back.

‘You’ve got two.” His brother called back over his shoulder, already moving back towards the house. “Jerk!”

When Dean’s eyes were back on his, Castiel didn’t know what to say.

There was so much that needed to be said and he didn’t even know where to start.

“Dean I-”

“Don’t.” Dean said, smiling mischeviously. His eyes flickered down to Castiel’s lips. “You’ll ruin it.”

A small noise escaped from the back of Castiel’s throat.

When he kissed Dean, he was sure he had never kissed anyone so hard, and so _fast_ in all his life.


	9. Chapter 9

_NOW_

Dean’s eyes squint open as he reaches out and turns off the alarm on his phone. He likes to get up about half an hour before the kids do, when its his turn to wake up with them on Saturday morning. He makes coffee and starts breakfast, maybe even gets a little of the paper read before Ollie and Emily come screeching in from their bedroom.

This morning though, Dean would much rather stay warm in bed. He has been busting his ass on a particularly difficult restoration at his garage, and he was up extremely late last night researching the ‘66 Mustang that was giving him trouble. 

Dean rolls over in bed and nuzzles into the back of Castiel’s neck. 

His husband sighs softly and backs further into Dean’s body.

Dean can feel the pleasant ache in the lower half of his body from their activities the night before, and smiles at the memory of Castiel burried deep inside him. He wiggles closer to Castiel and wraps his arms around his torso. 

“I’ll give you a blow job if you wake up with the kids this morning.” Dean whispers into Castiel’s ear.

Castiel huffs. “It’s my turn to sleep in, Dean.”

“I know but I was up until three.” Dean replies back, whining. 

“Really?” Castiel turns over so they are face to face. “You didn’t fall asleep after-”

“After you fucked me senseless?” Dean says, eyebrows raised.

Castiel smirks. “Yeah, that. I didn’t tire you out enough?”

Dean shifts closer so that their naked bodies were flush against each other. 

“Oh you did. I had a nice little nap.” He sighs, “But when I woke up to pee, I couldn’t get my mind off that Mustang.”

Castiel pushes the hair off of Dean’s forehead. “Did you figure it out?”

“I think so, won’t know until I get to the garage later.” 

“Well, I guess you do need some sleep then.” Castiel yawns into a soft sigh. “I’ll get up.”

Dean pulls Castiel back to the bed when he tries to get up.

“Hey, what about your reward for being such an awesome husband?”

“I thought you were tired?” Castiel says, smiling as Dean moves to straddle him.

“Exhausted.” Dean replies, running his hands down Castiel’s naked torso. “But it’s rare that I’m too tired to suck on your cock.”

Castiel laughs. “How romantic.”

“If you’re looking for romance at 7 AM on a saturday morning where our kids are hopefully still sleeping two rooms over, “ Dean bends down and starts kissing downwards along the lines of Castiel’s pelvis. “You’re going to need to manage your expectations.”

“Mhmm.” Castiel says with a soft sigh, pushing his hands through Dean’s hair as Dean continues to move downward. “Expectations managed. Please continue.”

Dean chuckles softly, and licks his way down to Castiel’s thighs.

Dean _loves_ Castiel’s thighs. 

They’re muscular and defined, but not overly so. His thighs are still soft enough to get a good grab, and Dean does just that as he places a teasing kiss to the head of Castiel’s penis.

“Dean.” Castiel sighs, slight irritation in his voice. “Do you think it’s wise to tease me when I’m doing you a favor this morning?”

“Looks like I’m the one doing the favors here, Cas.” Dean says, looking up to his husbands face as he licks a long stripe up Castiel’s shaft.

Castiel lets out a soft moan.

Dean loves the sounds he can get out of Castiel. He loves it so much, in fact, sometimes just the sound of Castiel coming will put Dean on the edge of doing so himself.

“Dean.” Castiel’s breath stutters slightly as Dean continues to lick his way around Castiel’s dick. “Please.”

“With sugar on top?” Dean says with a smirk, sucking the tip of Castiel’s penis into his mouth. He flicks his tongue over the slit and swirls it around the head. “How about a cherry Cas? I know how much you love those.”

Castiel’s groans as his hips push up slightly and Dean moves his hands up to hold him down.

“So impatient.” Dean says, right before taking Castiel all the way into his mouth.

He knows time is an issue, the kids will be up soon, so Dean doesn’t tease Castiel any more. He works his way up and down Castiel’s shaft, licking and sucking the way Castiel loves. 

“Oh, _God_ -Dean. Yeah, like that.” Castiel urges, as Dean sucks harder and faster. 

As Castiel’s moans get louder, he takes a pillow and covers his face, a standard practice for them when they are trying to be quiet. Dean can feel Castiel getting close, so he sinks down again and lets the tip of Castiel’s penis hit the back of his throat. He swallows around it. 

Dean hears a muffled moan above him as Castiel’s hand flies down and grips Dean’s hair.

Two more strong, quick bobs up and down, and another swallow, and Castiel is coming down Dean’s throat. Castiel’s hips roll into Dean’s face as he comes, and Dean swallows what he is given. 

Dean only needs a few strokes to get there too. The sounds Castiel made as he came, even muffled by the pillow, drove Dean insane with want. It’s only a few seconds before he is coming all over Castiel’s stomach; his husbands name on his tongue. 

When he’s spent, Dean flops back down on the bed next to Castiel.

Castiel looks down at the mess Dean left on his stomach. “Thanks for that.”

“Hmm?” Dean says, eyes closed. “Oh, you’re welcome.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “I meant this.” 

He grabs Dean’s hand and puts it on his stomach, covering his fingers in his semen.

“Ugh, Cas!” Dean groans. “You dick.” 

Castiel laughs as he grabs the towel they used the night before, and wipes off his stomach and Dean’s hand. He leans over and kisses Dean softly.

“Sleep well, Dean.”

Dean smiles into the kiss and pulls Castiel back down for another one when he tries to get up. 

“Maybe the kids learned how to feed themselves overnight.” Dean kisses him again. “Could be a thing.”

Castiel laughs and lets Dean kiss him, but pinches his side.

“Not likely.” He pulls away again and this time Dean lets him. “Don’t forget we have dinner with Sam and Jess tomorrow and they’re leaving Robbie and Jason here while they do their babymoon thing. Whatever the hell that is.”

“A mini-vacation before the baby comes.” Dean yawns and fluffs his pillow. “They did it before Jason too, remember? Robbie and Ollie decided to cover the house in toilet paper?”

Castiel smiled as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Ah, yes. And then Meg thought it’d be a great idea to give them and her kids silly string to ‘decorate’ the toilet paper.”

“The clean up was shit, but the kids had a good time.” Dean mumbles, eyes closing.

Castiel leans down and kisses him one more time. 

“If I remember correctly, you hired someone else to clean up.”

“Details.” Dean whispers, a small smile on his lips.

The last thing Dean remembers before falling back asleep, is Castiel kissing his forehead.

 

***

Castiel flips three pancakes in a row then stirs the scrambled eggs.

“Dadda!” Emily says. “Color! Color! Pamcake color!”

“No, not today Ems.” Castiel says, looking down at his toddler as she pulls on his pants. “We ran out of food coloring last weekend.”

“Do we have blueberries?” Ollie asks from beside him, perched on top of the counter. 

“I think we have strawberries.” Castiel replies. Dean went shopping that week, and Castiel knew he preferred them. “Why don’t you hop down and check.”

Ollie jumps down from the counter and opens the fridge. He comes back to the stove with a carton of strawberries.

“Can we put them in?” Ollie asks.

“How about we just put them fresh on top?” Castiel says, pulling a cutting board from the cabinet and a butter knife from the drawer. “Here, you can cut them up for us.” 

Castiel moves a chair over so that Ollie can reach the counter to work on.

“With this knife?” Ollie scrunches his nose. “I don’t want to use a baby knife.”

“It’s not a baby knife and it’ll cut through the strawberries.” Castiel says with an eyebrow raised. “You can practice your sharp knife skills when you’re a little older.”

Ollie grumbles but doesn’t challenge him.

“I cut!” Emily says from below. “Baby cut!”

“No, Ems.” Castiel says, picking up the toddler and putting her on his hip. “Not yet. Here, have a strawberry.”

Castiel pops a small piece of fruit into his daughter’s mouth and she squeals in delight.

It’s one of the best sounds in the world.

Dean and Castiel adopted Ollie when he was two, three years after they got married, and they got Emily when she was just an infant, almost two years ago. 

Castiel had always known he wanted a family at some point in his life, but he wasn’t sure what that family would look like. 

He married Dean two years after Castiel crashed Sam’s wedding. It was a small ceremony, with just family and a few close friends. The wedding was held at the National Park they had pulled over at, the night they took the picture under the full moon. 

They both cried during the ceremony, and they both laughed. They had hired a photographer, but Castiel took a lot of pictures himself. He wanted to be sure he had evidence of the dance off Sam and Dean had, or the look in Dean’s eyes when he stood up and thanked everyone for coming and gushed about his new husband. 

Castiel loved that they had a framed photo of the two of them politely placing cake into each other’s mouths, right next to a photo of them smashing cake into each other’s faces. He loved that Dean had his baby nephew in his arms for a good portion of their reception, and that Castiel got a number of photos of Dean dancing with the baby on the dance floor. 

They had talked about children before that moment, both of them agreeing they wanted them, but wanted to wait a little while before having any. But Castiel didn’t realize how much he wanted to raise a family until he saw what an amazing father Dean would make, out on that dance floor.

That photo in particular is framed and sits on the mantle of their fireplace. Right next to the one of Castiel, Dean, Ollie, and Emily at the Christmas tree farm last year, each of them with a candy cane in their mouth.

Their home is full of pictures. Pictures Castiel took, pictures Dean took. There is even one that Ollie took that is of Dean and Castiel kissing under the mistletoe. It’s lopsided and part of Castiel’s head is cut off, but they framed it anyway. 

Ollie was so proud.

Castiel finishes making breakfast and places Emily in her highchair. 

“Alright, Ollie.” Castiel says, with a mischievous smile. “I’m going to make sure Daddy wakes up for breakfast, you be ready.”

“Got it.” Ollie replies back, eyes wide and full of excitement. 

Castiel walks quietly into their bedroom and stares down at Dean for a moment before waking him. He liked to do that sometimes, watch Dean sleep. Dean said it was creepy, but Castiel didn’t care. He liked to watch the soft rise and fall of Dean’s chest and the slow steady pulse under his skin. Castiel liked to count his freckles when he couldn’t sleep, even though Dean continues to hate it.

He walks over and shakes Dean’s shoulder softly.

“Hey.” He whispers. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Mmhm.” Dean mumbles, and turns over.

“No, no.” Castiel shakes his head and swats at Dean’s hip. “Your son has staged a nerf gun assault outside your door this morning. I suggest you be clothed when he attacks.”

Dean groans, but Castiel can see his smile.

“Your child is a menace.”

“Yes, well.” Castiel says, heading back towards the door. “You’re the one that introduced the nerf gun youtube channel to him. You reap what you sow, my love.”

Castiel hears Dean grumble as he shuts the door behind him.

Five minutes later, Dean emerges from their bedroom, fully clothed with a pillow wrapped around his head.

Ollie fires off three rounds of Nerf darts as Dean charges through the hallway yelling, _“Counter attack! Counter attack!”_ and Emily laughs wildly in her highchair.

Castiel joins her, then helps hold Dean down so Ollie can deliver the final blow.

“Traitor!” Dean yells up at him, laughing as Ollie shoots Nerf darts into his chest.

Castiel shrugs. “You wanted to be the one to sleep in today.”

Ollie jumps off his father and holds his nerf gun over his head. “Victory!” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Dean says, pulling himself up to sit. “You got me buddy. Better be ready for a rematch later, though.”

Castiel helps pulls Dean up to stand and starts to back away toward the kitchen, but Dean pulls him in by his waist and pecks his lips.

“Good morning, Brutus.”

Castiel smiles and kisses him back. 

“Comparing yourself to Jesus before 10 AM? Has to be a record for you.”

 _“Daddy and Daddy, kissing in a tree!”_ Ollie sings from the kitchen where he is bringing a bowl of strawberries to the table. _“K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”_

Dean and Castiel chuckle.

“You know, that song is pretty right on.” Dean says, looking into Castiel’s eyes as Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s neck. “And it’s way better than my ducks.”

“You mean your ducks aren’t in a row?” Castiel challenges, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, they’re in a row alright.” Dean smiles. “But they didn’t need to be for me to find, love, marriage, _or_ a baby carriage.”

Castiel kisses him again.

“So I won’t be getting that fifty dollars then?” Castiel jokes, pulling away and going to set the table.

“I’ll just leave it on the nightstand for you babe.” Dean winks and Castiel rolls his eyes.

“There are children present.”

Dean ignores him and takes his place at the table next to Emily. He kisses her cheeks and helps break up a pancake for her to eat. Castiel watches as Dean interacts with their kids, and his heart swells in is chest.

All of this, everything that his life turned out to be, Castiel couldn’t of even dreamed it would turn out like this the night he walked away and left Dean by the Brooklyn Bridge.

He couldn’t have dreamed that they would spend the next several years coming back together and then falling apart again. Castiel couldn’t have known that Dean would become most important person in his life; and it was impossible to know at the time, that Castiel was not only leaving his best friend behind that night, but the love of his life as well. 

But that’s fate, it doesn’t matter how many times you turn your back on it, fate will have it’s way. They were meant for each other, Dean and Castiel, in every sense of the word, in every universe and every dimension. Whether they had met in an airport or a hospital, an art gallery or as high school rivals, even if they had met in heaven or hell itself, Castiel and Dean would always end up together. 

Castiel thinks it was more than friendship, more than love, that finally brought them together.

Castiel thinks it was destiny.

 

And if it _wasn’t_ destiny, it was a lot like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I hope you liked seeing what Dean and Castiel were up to this morning!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day. I'll write you back and try to make yours.


End file.
